Cauldron Con AAR: Day 2

Greetings again blogland! Cauldron Con was so awesome that a full report could not be contained in one post. Read on for...


DAY 2

Waking up early, I frantically cleaned up my pregen character sheets to return them to factory settings, since I only brought one set for the two games! [Apologies to those who wanted to keep their sheets from the first game, this is a mistake I won't make again.]

With everything in place, I hunted down some coffee and got into character. After the previous day's session I knew I would be fine, so we dove right in to...


***

Saturday Block I
Gilded Dream of the Incandescent Queen

DM: Me

Players:

Premier - Edward the Scissorhands II, fighter 5 and his henchman Wigmund & John Magic II, M-U 5
Chomy - Arok II, ranger 5 & Torglol, elf fighter 4/M-U 4
Bexter - Berwick II, cleric 5 
Der Oger - Wicked Joe, assassin 5
Vorpal Mace - John Magic II, M-U 5 (late arrival, Premier handed off one character at this point)

With a smaller group, I let a few players bring an extra character to bring the total PCs up to six.

I gave the group the same preamble (see Part 1) and we were off!

The party checked out the Meeting Room briefly and scooped up a few pieces of treasure, then moved across to the Hall of Primaries. They ducked past a few glowing butterflies and examined the objects in the room briefly, but couldn't come up with a plan to open the sealed door. They decided to move on quickly [smart move in a time-limited convention game!].

They progressed through the long hall and turned a group of skeletons who fled the sanctum and were destroyed by a massive lightning strike on the balcony [a lucky roll!]. The same lightning frightened a pack of glowing butterflies, leaving the way clear. The group turned the skeletons lurking in the Room of Night, and found an invitation on an adventurer's corpse.

In a departure from the previous group's play, the party returned to the entry room and showed their invitation to the butlers. The helpful servants brought the party upstairs to the Trophy Room, explaining that the Queen was further above but they were not permitted to enter. The group also asked the butlers many questions about the sanctum, learning about the queen's alchemist (who works in the basement) and the general of her armies (not seen for many years).

Opening the gold & silver doors to the grand throne room, the group carefully approached the apparently-dead queen in formation. Berwick II got close enough to breathe in her poisonous aura. I forget what exactly they did to disturb her but the undead monarch woke up, and the fight was on! The witch-queen gave a better account of herself this time [casting Invisibility on the first round, then summoning more skeletons] but between a Fireball from John Magic II, a few tense melee rounds for Wicked Joe and Arok II, Silence 15' Radius from Berwick II, and well-timed use of a Potion of Flying by Edward to fly outside the arena and attack from the rear, the queen was slain and her treasure [what wasn't melted by the Fireball] looted!

With this victory achieved early, the group investigated the throne room. Berwick II stepped upon the golden stairs and failed 2 saving throws! His spirit was split into pure good (ascending to the sun, never to return) and pure evil (a 1 HD skeleton, easily destroyed by Edward). Before he vanished into the rapturous heavens, Berwick II's player was allowed one question, which the DM had to answer with perfect truth:

Bexter, without hesitation: "What is the alchemist's stat block?"

Me: "HEY, have you read this adventure or what?!?"

After assuring me he hadn't, I explained that this was an excellent question: I opened the OSRIC book to the Glabrezu entry and the players decided they would be mighty careful dealing with the queen's alchemist!

Around this point, Vorpal Mace showed up and somebody passed him a character sheet. Bexter was handed Arok II to replace the departed Berwick II, and we were back in action.

Using the gold sun key they took from the queen, the party bluffed their way past a few talking statues and took the stairs all the way to the basement. They were accosted by an old man behind bars, begging to be freed - the queen's alchemist! They scammed him out of a bit of gold but had no intention of setting the demon loose.

Exploring the prison using the Queen's Key, they discovered a room with a puddle of mercury that took the form of a knight, electing to seal the door shut when it made an aggressive move. They rescued an old monk named Ernas who had been trapped by the queen for many years and made immortal by his trip up the golden stairs.

Around that point we were running out of time, and luckily for the group they had Ernas with them and he knew the password to the teleporter!

Great and tight play by these guys, especially in the battle with the queen. They saw a different slice of the dungeon than any other group and were the only players to try out the stairs or make their way into the basement!

[Full breakdown of treasure, etc. in its own post later!]

With another successful delve, we turned our attention to lunch. More laughs were had around the tables, folks regaling us with thrills & spills of their games. GusB was convinced that our group had secured the Blackrazor Cup in our game the day before, especially after hearing about the disastrous run Prince and Parti had (they went into the pit of wights, dear god!). I was fairly confident, but prepared for a surprise (wait for Part 3).

I reached the signup sheets near the back of the line and saw that most games were full already! Then I espied an adventure that looked very cool, and signed up for...


***

Saturday Block II
Caul's Dark Citadel

DM: Jonathan Becker


Players:
(sorry, I didn't write down everyone's characters!)

Me - Sheila, thief 6/cleric 6
Doof - magic-user

Theo - fighter I think

Michael S.

Martin

Hening
Grutzi - cleric 5

I saw that Becker had run Anthony Huso's adventure The Silver Temple of Transcendent Flame the previous day, so I had my suspicions about what would happen. I was not disappointed!

The antipaladin Caul, Flayer of Men (a villain from Huso's original Esoteric Order of the Twilight Princess home campaign) had kidnapped the Divine Child, and was holding it in his evil castle. Our job was to break in, steal the child back and escape!

As a diehard Huso fan, I was obviously all-in for this. Having read and immersed myself in the original play reports, this felt like having a chance to go back and fight Darth Vader before the first Star Wars movie!

Our characters were Becker's interpretation of the cast of the '80s D&D cartoon, now all grown up. This was a bit odd, since Huso's adventures are usually pretty dark - it seemed like a tonal mismatch. Having no knowledge of the cartoon myself, I grabbed the first sheet that said 'cleric' on it, and got a dual-classed thief/cleric with Boots of Elvenkind and - a Cloak of Invisibility? Now we're talking!

Sheila turned out to be sick as hell. Her invisibility cloak had unlimited uses, so I spent my time way out in front of the group, scouting out the situation invisibly. Many backstabs were dealt out, and much advance warning gained about upcoming problems in the dungeon.

Sheila climbed up to the top tower of the fortress and let a rope down. A single half-elf was lurking, and once the group got his attention a tense confrontation began. As soon as he reached for an item, it was backstabbing time! He turned out to be a tough cookie (an assassin with a Potion of Speed throwing 6 poisoned darts in one round, luckily we all made our saves) but soon he surrendered and we pumped him for information about Caul, his associates and underlings (including a drow witch), and some kind of "giant mutant crustaceans." Hmm...

Mapping this place turned out to be a real problem. Caul's fortress had clearly been constructed with infernal assistance - hallways and stairs looped up and down over each other with no rhyme or reason. Every NPC we asked about the fortress would respond "well, this place is kind of strange..." until Becker was, with a grin, repeating the line to a chorus of groans from the players! 

[The only complaint I have about this group is that we spent too much time talking to NPCs. I understand the impulse to make sense of a strange area - after all information is power - but there comes a point when the most useful details have been extracted and it's time to move on.]

The group wandered the twisting halls of Caul's citadel. I tried to use Locate Object to find the drow witch's sanctum, but it did not work. We rescued some slaves and got a few details. Then we came to the Great Hall, where we knew Caul held court. It was time to take down the villain (honestly, all I cared about at this point in the adventure).

We had two characters in disguise enter the hall, along with an invisible Sheila. Unfortunately for us, the Flayer of Men was not deceived - he ordered his gnolls to seize us! Sheila ran back down the stairs to tell the rest of the group and there was a mad scramble for a fighting position at the doorway.

At this point I was so stoked that it was impossible to contain myself, I was vibrating in my seat. I hope my excitement did not render me too much of a pain in the ass at the table...

While most of the group battled the gnolls, Sheila snuck up behind Caul and hit him with a Hold Person spell [he failed his saving throw, rolling a 2!]. Once again the feared antipaladin had been brought low, and in the same manner as in Huso's home game!

[Cue George Lucas saying: "It's like poetry. It rhymes."]

After the battle our fighter [run by Theo, IIRC] put on Caul's armour and posed as the master of the castle. After a short detour to the slave pens to fight the ogre slave-master [and good use of Speak with Dead by Grutzi] we progressed to the final confrontation in the drow witch's sanctum. 

We had concocted a great plan. Our illusionist disguised us as gnoll troops with Spectral Force and we accompanied "Caul," following at a respectful distance. Our fighter started a conversation, walked right up to the witch and used his magical shield to create a dome of force, trapping her inside with him. Welcome to the thunderdome, baby!!!

At this point we unleashed as much power as we could and the fight escalated quickly: the evil cultists were targeted with a barrage of Hold Person spells, the monk grabbed the Divine Child and ran, while the rumoured Giant Mutant Crustaceans emerged from all around us, pincers ready! Sheila ran after the monk invisibly to provide backup while the rest of the group used spells, special abilities and some great attack rolls to destroy the gigantic man-eating crabs.

When the battle was done, the witch surrendered. Our fighter stripped her of her gear and spared her life with the following words:

"Return to the under-realms that spawned you, and know that your queen just witnessed your defeat!"

Awesome. Becker ran a tight ship, and the rest of the players were on the ball, coming up with really good plans and schemes, one after another. At this point the session had run long by about 20 minutes - we were late for dinner! Flushed with victory, we filled out some feedback sheets and hauled ass down to...

***

Dinner & The Auction

We laughed, we cried, we spent a mountain of Euros!

Dinner was roast pig, a patrician choice by the convention. Because I was late, I didn't eat as much as I should have. After Becker's game I was flying high on the thrill of victory, buckets of coffee, adrenaline, and a few beers on an empty stomach. This explains a little bit of what came next...

Settembrini held forth masterfully, describing the merits of every item and its place in gaming history. Many folks had donated games from their own collections, even pieces of original artwork!

An array of games both old and new appeared on the block. Some old Das Schwarz Auge material was snapped up (great to see some national pride from the Germans for their own homegrown RPG). Several classic Judges Guild books (Castles II and Temples, IIRC) disappeared in the blink of an eye, the prices raising so fast that I was left breathless, unable to even bid!

I steeled myself and resolved to get in on the action. Assisting in this plan, Chomy placed an assortment of Hungarian liquors on the table with a conspiratorial smile, inviting me to sample the various flavours. They were all quite smooth, and I was certain none of them had been made in a bathtub. At the same time, Becker slid a bottle of some kind of fancy high-proof American whisky down the table for us to try.

The contest was on! After throwing out a few numbers and being outbid at every turn, I found myself in a neck-and-neck contest with a German at another table who would simply add 1 Euro to my own bid in a vicious campaign to troll me (and raise more money for the Con, I'll wager...). With Parti banging on the glass behind me and waving his wallet, Prince slapping me on the shoulder, and the crowd's noise urging me to ever greater boldness, I persisted and won an original piece of Andrew W's artwork: the town of Silvash from Melan's Cloister of the Frog God!

At this juncture a bottle of Jamieson appeared in front of me as if by magic (another Irish trick by Lynchpin, I suspect). Flushed with success I threw out more bids, won a purple and gold Cauldron dice bag and pumped the numbers up on several more lots without winning them. Even losing at this auction was great fun, cheers to all the participants who scored so many great items!

It is at about this point, dear reader, that your narrator slowly - and then rapidly - lost the thread of his tale. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time, wandering on roads that I dare not tell...


.


..


...


I regained my senses outside in the fresh air and had a nice chat with Chomy, who was kind enough to look after me. Perhaps he felt some nagging guilt for introducing this effete Anglo to his devastating Eastern European concoctions?

Either way, I was rendered totally incapable of playing in Attronarch's game in Block III (the only disappointment of the con, I really wanted to see how he does the Wilderlands!) and retired with some water and a few extra-strength Advil, thankful that I hadn't caused an excessive amount of mayhem.

To get a true sense of the experience, consult:


PALINKA MISCIBILITY TABLE (d6*d20):

1 - [SLURS]

2 - have a pleasant conversation

3 - go to bed early

4 - say "I'll tell you what, bud!" and then fall over

5 - leave unidentifiable crud on character sheet

6 - fight a Turk

7 - punch whoever is sitting next to you

8 - bid 2x more than planned

9 - run out of darts, stop rolling immediately

10 - throw up during a game

11 - swear to never drink again... and this time, mean it

12 - bidding war with a German

13 - raise the roof

14 - off-colour jokes during auction

15-17 - shout "HELL YEAH!" after anyone says anything

18 - wake up feeling pretty okay, considering

19 - swear revenge on duplicitious potion vendor

20 - death in 2d6 turns


Stay tuned for the senses-shattering conclusion of DAY 3!!!

Cauldron Con AAR: Day 1

Greetings Blogland! I have returned home from a low-ceilinged garret by the frigid Atlantic (an AirBNB in Iceland) where I was recuperating from the weekend's excesses and doing some light tourism. Now, the tales of woe can be told.

Cauldron Con began inauspiciously: after a few weeks of European travel I won't bore you with here, we packed our bags a final time and set out from Amsterdam a day early. The party consisted of Princeofnothing, the infamously cruel dutch reviewer; Particularist, the mad autist of Ransack fame; and your humble scribe. Attempting to drive a reasonable (but fun) speed on the autobahn, we were beset by etheral windmills looming from the mists and BMWs going 200kph (our little rental was barely capable of that speed), but we made it to a small and quaint German town, apparently ripped straight from the pages of The Witcher.


Pregaming

There we met up with discord stalwart Doof and his Northern comrade Niklas, and played the harshest session of Ransack I've seen so far. Parti had converted Slyth Hive, Prince's famous high-level AD&D module, to his own system. We used 12th-level pregens created in the depths of Dave Hargrave's most feverish unconscious (Prince's M-U had 3 clone replacements, Doof's ranger was a bird-man(?), and my changeling assassin had a nuclear bomb!!).

We assailed the slyth, using Prince's knowledge of his own adventure to our advantage. My assassin was mind-blasted to hell in the first encounter, but not before killing 170 slyth with Dust of Sneezing & Choking. Delving to level 3 with my replacement PC, a monk, we managed to slay 2 froghemoths in a single round with judicious (and risky) use of our special abilities. But not before the monk was turned into a super-werewolf, tore himself from a froghemoth's stomach, and ate the magic-user, whose clone arrived in time to see the monk revert to human form.

On the aquatic level, we fried a school of piranhas using a sentient energy-blasting lichen we had befriended, and Prince knew where the best treasure was buried... We had scored big, but it didn't feel at all like cheating.

Overall, a brutal affair played at an almost incomprehensible power level. Would play again, and Ransack rules.

By this point it was perhaps 2 AM and, energy flagging, we packed it in. I spent a restless night on a cold and lumpy AirBNB couch which I volunteered for in my usual "no problem bro, I've been doing this for 20 years" fashion. As it turned out, this would prove no impediment.



DAY ONE

After an artful breakfast served by a peppery old German fellow in a restaurant far too nice for us, we were ready to drive onwards to Cauldron!

The village of Rosenthal was the perfect place to hold the event: small and picturesque. We arrived early, stowed our gear and got acquainted with the venue. The indefatigable organizer Settembrini (assisted by his whole family - incredibly wholesome to see!) was running around, talking to people and setting things up. We were greeted by one affable German after another, all helpful (contradicting the reports I'd read regarding the Teutonic personality...). Someone's labradoodle ran everywhere. A massive cooler of beer lay outside ripe for plundering, an assortment of food, coffee and snacks inside. In one corner, a gigantic Chainmail game was being set up.

I found my designated game space in a narrow, rustic-looking upstairs hall with low ceiling timbers and long wooden tables. As folks arrived, I scrambled to finish writing up the pregen characters for my adventure. In all the chaos of my European vacation, I had not had time! In fact I didn't even bring blank sheets, but had to create them by hand the day before (Prince's wife helped - my wrist thanks her!). Giving myself 2 hours was not quite enough. I heard clapping from downstairs and realized I was missing the entire opening ceremonies! The only sound in the upper hall was the scratching of my pencil, the flipping of OSRIC pages, and the blood pounding in my ears.

I went outside to smoke with 5 minutes to spare before game time. As I tried to get into "DM character" I wondered: who would sign up for my game? Would it be fun? Had I cut the adventure to the right size? Should there really be 2 Caryatid Columns in room 24, or perhaps I should add a third?

And most pressing: what if nobody liked the way I handled AD&D initiative?

I should have known what would happen.


***

Friday Block I
Gilded Dream of the Incandescent Queen

DM: Me

Players:
GusB - Edward the Scissorhands, fighter 5 and his henchman Wigmund
Prince - Torglul, elf fighter 4/M-U 4
Melan - Sir Glyptodont, paladin 4
Doof - Bluff, dwarf fighter 4/thief 5
Lynchpin - John Magic, M-U 5
Alex - Arok, ranger 5
Chris - Berek, cleric 5


I returned to the table and was faced with a motley crew of sellswords hungry for gold, glory and earnest violence... and I knew things would turn out fine.

A group of adventurers was teleported into Queen Purah's summer palace, a floating sanctum on the Plane of Air. There she conducted alchemical experiments and sought the secret of eternal life. Had she succeeded? It had been 1000 years since the Queen was last seen. The group not only had to loot the place and find out what happened, but discover a way to escape in the allotted time!

After meeting some butlers made of clouds, the party skipped the Meeting Room. Using his partial dungeon map, Bluff got a sense of the area and the group entered the Hall of Primaries where they used Edward's henchman Wigmund to test out some ideas. Bleeding from his ears, the long-suffering Northman nevertheless executed his orders [good morale check helped by some healing] and the sealed door was opened!

In what would become a running theme, Sir Glyptodont used Detect Evil on everything and instantly clocked a sinister-looking book, dousing it in oil and burning it. The group looted some nice magic items and treasure and moved on.

In a vast hall, they rescued some radioactive butterflies from a pack of bloodthirsty skeletons with a well-placed Turn Undead and some missile attacks. They explored a room suffused in magical darkness [wisely turning the undead inside, which they couldn't see but just KNEW were in there]. In a corpse's backpack they found an invitation to the palace with the Queen's seal - useful!

Emerging in another entryway, they were accosted by flickering, man-shaped lightning elementals, calling "come play with us!" Reasoning that these electric beings could be grounded out, Arok opened his Decanter of Endless Water [I should have thought this one through...]. The bottle made its saving throw and the creatures arced out with a CRACK and the smell of ozone, without the ranger being zapped himself.

The party defeated more skeletons by bashing open a pit trap and found a secret door into the stables where they met Mr. Hall and Mr. Waits, confused celestial beings who seemed friendly enough [a paladin, a good reaction roll, and not bringing along the assassin helped here]. These two agreed to lead the group to "The Stairs," apparently the path they had taken to enter the palace.

The group entered a huge jungle cave - clearly some kind of extradimensional space - where they were attacked by tropical fire-spitting birds and drank from a magical fountain [all the rolls were great here, plenty of healing].

[It was at this point that someone in the group pointed out this game's timeslot was THREE hours, not four! Like the hard-charging mercenaries they were, the whole group kicked into fifth gear. Watching them coalesce into a decisive and aggressive commando team at this point was incredibly fun.]

The party ascended to the second level and opened a few doors, but did not tarry - their goal lay on the top floor. A vast hall floating above the clouds, littered with corpses, and on a great throne of jade rested the body of the Incandescent Queen herself!

The M-U and cleric sallied forth in gaseous and ethereal form to investigate. Using Unseen Servant, John Magic began pilfering the Queen's golden jewelry and the invitation she held in her hands. When her mask was lifted she awoke, an enraged undead monstrosity [as if there was any doubt!].

The party came prepared for war. A Fireball from John Magic, a barrage of missile attacks, and clutch shots by Sir Glyptodont, Torglul and Edward made short work of the evil Queen. Out of time, with a Queen's Invitation in hand, the party was able to get the teleporter password from one of the butlers and return home safely. Not bad for 3 hours' work!

Well played, gentlemen! This group kicked rich amounts of ass, especially considering they only had 3 hours to do it in. The Queen never stood a chance. Tight, tactical and aggressive, just what I wanted to see.

[A full breakdown of treasure, kills & XP will come in its own post later, stay tuned.]

After this frenetic ending we broke for dinner, consisting of a mountain of grilled German sausages and potatoes which I shoveled into my face at high speed. I talked and laughed with my players about the session, met some strangers and heard stories of their games, and unwound after all the day's excitement.

But things weren't over yet...


***

Friday Block II
Rivers of Blood, Death and Glory
Blackrazor Cup tournament module


DM: Grutzi

Players:
(sorry, I forgot to write it all down, this is based on my fallible memory)
Me - cleric
James - halfling thief
Chris - M-U
Melan - dwarf fighter
GusB - monk
Lynchpin - elf fighter/M-U, I think
Doof - bard
Niklas - ranger


Tackling the legendary Blackrazor Cup this year was a gritty challenge. The pregens filtered down the table until Gus, stuck at the very end, disgustedly picked up a monk (sorry bud!). While he frantically looked up the rules for his class, I had a few minutes to choose my cleric spells based on the opening blurb (good thing I paid attention!) and we were off.

Our group set out into a frigid mountain dungeon. We played tightly and tactically and had initial success against a group of yetis using Lynchpin's Web spell. Disaster almost struck when we entered a large chamber and the first two ranks were paralysed for 3 rounds by the yetis' gazes!! Somehow the monk, thief and (I think) ranger managed to hold the line for 3 rounds until the rest of the group could recover. The last yeti covered in Faerie Fire was tossed into a pit, the eerie glow illuminating over a dozen bloodthirsty wights. No thanks! This fight bogged us down for a while, but once the combat was done we really took off running.

In a vast hall we discovered a throne of ice inset with giant diamonds. No problem, I had prepared Resist Cold and Melan's dwarf was happy to pry them out. After taking these we explored a room with a crystal ball [we pondered it for a while]. Divination helped here, along with demihumans' ability to detect secret doors. Peeking through one we found revealed a mighty stone golem waiting in the hall, guarding stairs upwards - uh oh!

Locate Object, searching for an item to use against the golem, led us to the south into a room with a corpse holding a weapon and wearing an ornate chain of office. Various ideas were considered, until I decided the cleric would bash in the skull of the corpse - just to make sure, you understand. This was the wrong move, as a spectre revealed itself, and laughed off my attempt to Turn Undead! The horror was dispatched but not before draining 2 levels from Melan's dwarf.

This harrowing experience aside, we looted the corpse's identifying chain, which of course allowed us to pass down the hall past the stone golem unharmed. This led into the treasure room, where heaped before us were the treasures of uncounted ages!

After transporting it all back to our boat, we had a few options: would it be possible to pass by the golem up the stairs, somehow? Scouting with Wizard Eye revealed valuable treasures. James even boldly tried to climb his halfling thief over the golem's head and got bashed with a stony fist for his troubles.

A few ideas were proposed, but it was getting late and we were running out of time. Instead, we looted the crystal ball from the previous room (good job disarming that trap James), and loaded everything out onto our raft. Victory was ours!

By my tally, we had removed over 200,000 gp worth of treasure from the dungeon. Could anyone else do better? We didn't think so at the time...


***

When the adventure was done it was already about midnight, or maybe 1 AM? Time enough to have a snack and maybe one more drink, then pass out in my bunk and set an alarm for 7:00 AM when we would do it all over again...

Cauldron Con!

Hi blogland,

I am going to Cauldron Con in Germany this year, so come by and say hi! I am running Gilded Dream of the Incandescent Queen (Convention Edition). Look for the Canadian metalhead and that's probably me!

HOT OFF THE PRESS!

Time for a few high-powered updates from your humble interlocutor:

OSRIC 3.0 CROWDFUNDING

The original retroclone! Rising from the ashes of the OGL debacle, Mythmere Games fires up a crowdfunding campaign to make sure Corpo-gaming can never fuck with us again. Based on Creative Commons, with the brand-new AELF license for adventure writers. The final age is upon us, the end of history, the eternal AD&D. As God and Gary intended!!!

Backerkit campaign is HERE. Get stoked and sign up now, scum!!!

FIGHT ON! #16

The premier old-school zine is back in force with a second new issue! This one has been out for a little while, and this time I contributed. My Terrible City Guards table is inside!

Get it here:

Print version

PDF version

Go do your homework and support the old-school Gs who have been sticking their necks out to bring the rest of us Vintage Thrill-Power since you posers were in diapers playing Shadowdark.

That's all for now blogland! 

Intelligent Magic Items

A post many years in the making!

After finishing that "Knights in Orcus' Service" post and knocking around ideas for the other Chaos patrons in my setting, I realized I needed my own rules for demon weapons. Creating these items for my home game, I've been forced to cobble things together haphazardly. It's been rather annoying and nothing has felt quite right, so this is my attempt to streamline the rules for my home games - in whatever version of D&D I happen to be playing.

After using these rules several times in my home game, I feel good enough about them to post up. If I change them in the future I may come back and edit this.

First, let's examine the books I already have:

Realm of Chaos: Slaves to Darkness - The rules for Demon Weapons are cool as fuck, and clearly inspired by Elric. "Slays any unit it hits" is a bit much though. The magic effects from the Chaos Weapons section are good and the artwork is of course fantastic.

Awesome, but it will need some massaging to work within D&D.
We will come back to it later.


The Metamorphica Revised - The 'Ficto-Technica' section has tables for magic items. The best table is the one on pg. 208, "Demon-Possessed Items":

This will come up later on. 

Just get it, it's $10 for the revised pdf or get the classic version FREE!


AD&D DMG - Pages 166-168.

The standard to which all others are compared! Tables for personality and special goals are fantastic, but the whole system is pretty complicated and you have to flip back & forth. As usual, it could do with a bit of organizing.

I will be using the DMG as the baseline. From there I have attempted to streamline the mathematics and make things a little simpler while calibrating for my home setting.

*****

CREATING INTELLIGENT MAGIC ITEMS

0: Start

Per the DMG - we begin with an existing magic item. It could be a standard book item or one of the DM's own devising. This system was originally for magic swords but could be applied to anything: other weapons, wands, rings, armour or whatever.

From there, a simple 6-step process:

1: Roll for item INT

2: Roll for Alignment

3: Roll for Special Abilities

4: Roll for Special Purpose

5: Roll # of Languages Spoken, if applicable

6: Calculate EGO & Personality Strength

1: Intelligence and Capabilities (%)

We begin with the base tables from the DMG to see if it has intelligence and a mode of communication, and determine starting EGO rating:

01-50: No intelligence. Stop here.

51-75: No intelligence, but a strong alignment. Roll on Step 2 and then stop.
76-83: INT 12, EGO 1, semi-empathy
84-89: INT 13, EGO 2, empathy
90-94: INT 14, EGO 3, speech
95-97: INT 15, EGO 4, speech
98-99: INT 16, EGO 5, speech, read nonmagical languages/maps
00: INT 17, EGO 11, speech/telepathy, read magical writings

Or, if you are going to make an intelligent item anyway, use this chart expanded to the full percentage range to avoid a lot of rerolling:

01-31: INT 12, EGO 1, semi-empathy
32-56: INT 13, EGO 2, empathy
57-76: INT 14, EGO 3, speech
77-88: INT 15, EGO 4, speech
89-96: INT 16, EGO 5, speech, read nonmagical languages/maps
97-00: INT 17, EGO 11, speech/telepathy, read magical writings

EXAMPLE - I begin with a magical +2 sword. I have no particular plan for this item, so let's see what the dice give me on the top chart. Rolling for intelligence I got a 91, lucky! This sword has INT 14, EGO 3 and the power of speech.

2: Alignment (d20)

If you use simple law/chaos alignment like I do, just ignore the good/evil component of the result.

Remember that all cursed weapons are Neutral.

1-5: Lawful Good

6: Lawful Neutral

7: Lawful Evil

8-11: Neutral Good

12-15: True Neutral

16: Neutral Evil

17: Chaotic Good

18-19: Chaotic Neutral

20: Chaotic Evil

Simple alignment: if Chaotic, 30% chance of a demon item

AD&D alignment: if any Evil, 40% chance of a demon (or daemon or devil) item

Unintelligent but Aligned Items

Simple: Can be wielded or held by anyone, but activated & special abilities only work if alignment matches exactly. Plain +x items are reduced by one 'plus' for every step of alignment difference.

AD&D: Can be wielded by anyone, but activated & special abilities only work if all non-neutral elements of the item's alignment match the wielder's (a Lawful Neutral item can be used by anyone Lawful). This doesn't work in reverse - a Lawful Good item can only be used by Lawful Good characters. Plain +x items are reduced by one 'plus' for every step of alignment difference on either axis.

Intelligent Items

Simple: Handling an item of opposite alignment deals damage equal to item EGO. Handling an item one 'step' away (item or wielder is Neutral) deals 1/2 damage.

AD&D: All non-neutral elements of the item's alignment must match (as above), or handling the item deals damage equal to item EGO.

Demon Items

Can be used by characters of any ethos, all the better to corrupt them to the forces of darkness.

EXAMPLE - I use Simple alignment in my game. I rolled a 5, indicating the sword is Lawful.

3: Special Abilities

Roll for abilities based on item's INT:

INT 12: 1 detection ability
INT 13-14: 2 detection abilities
INT 15-16: 3 detection abilities
INT 17: 3 detection abilities, 1 extraordinary power

Detection Ability (%)
01-08 - detect shifting rooms/walls/sloping passages 10'

09-16 - detect traps 10'

17-24 - detect undead 20'

25-30 - detect opposing alignments 10'

31-36 - detect similar alignments 10'

37-45 - detect precious metals, kind and amount 20'

46-54 - detect gems, kind and number 5'
55-66 - detect magic 10'

67-69 - detect illusions 10'

70-74 - detect secret doors 5'

75-80 - see invisible 10'

81-85 - locate object 120'

86-93 - roll twice, ignoring this result or higher (add 2 EGO)

94-00 - roll for extraordinary power (add 2 EGO)

Extraordinary Power (%)

01-06 - determine direction and depth, 1d2/day

07-14 - enlarge/reduce on wielder, 1d2/day

15-21 - spider climb for 1 turn, 1d3/day

22-28 - clairaudience for 1 round, 30' range 1d3/day

29-35 - clairvoyance for 1 round, 30' range 1d3/day

36-40 - ESP for 1 round, 30' range 1d3/day

41-46 - charm person on hit, 1d3/day

47-50 - knock, 1/day

51-56 - strength on wielder, 1/day

57-61 - invisibility to item's enemies for 1 turn, 1d2/day

62-66 - levitation for 1 turn, 1d3/day

67-70 - fly, 1 hour/day (add 1d3 EGO)

71-75 - illusion as the wand, 120' range 1d2/day (add 1d3 EGO)

76-80 - x-ray vision for 1 turn, 40' range 1d2/day (add 1d4 EGO)

81-86 - telekinesis for 1 round, 1d2/day (add 1d3 EGO)

87-90 - telepathy, 60' range 1d2/day (add 1d4 EGO)

91-94 - teleport, 1/day (add 1d4+1 EGO)

95-97 - heal, 1/day (add 1d4+1 EGO)

98-00 - Roll twice, ignore this result again (add 2 EGO)

EXAMPLE - INT 14 gives 2 rolls on the Detection Table.
I rolled 03 - "detect shifting walls/rooms/sloping passages," and 71 - "detect secret doors." Not bad!

4: Special Purpose of Intelligent Item (d%)

Every intelligent item should have a special purpose. 

All these goals are filtered by alignment. A lawful sword that must 'defeat or slay' will only select chaotic enemies of its chosen category, etc.

01-15: overthrow opposite alignment (or "maintain balance" if Neutral)
16-85: defeat or slay:
     16-22: divine magic users (incl. divine entities, etc)

     23-30: arcane magic users (incl. magic-using monsters)

     31-37: fighters
     38-44: thieves
     45-55: all non-human monsters
     56-63: particular creature type (humanoids, undead, demons, etc)
     64-71: particular race or kind of creature (elves, orcs, ghouls, etc)
     72-78: servants of a specific deity
     79-85: everyone!!
86-92: defend a particular race or kind of creature

93-00: defend interests of a specific deity

Intelligent items generally prefer to use their powers in pursuit of their special purpose, but will do so for general tasks as long as they are kept happy. Using the item in opposition to its special purpose (aiding those the item wishes to destroy, etc) provokes an immediate personality conflict.

EXAMPLE - Rolling for Special Purpose, I get a 75 - "defeat or slay servants of a specific deity." Since the sword is Lawful, I decide to randomly select from the Chaotic powers in my setting. I end up with INMA, EMPRESS OF THE WORLD, a petty god worshipped by degenerated elves.

5: Languages Spoken

It's assumed the item can understand its wielder in any case. This determines the number of languages the item can speak aloud, if it is able. Per the DMG:

# of languages (%)
01-40: One
41-70: Two
71-85: Three (+1 EGO)
86-95: Four (+1 EGO)
96-99: Five (+2 EGO)
00: Six (+2 EGO)

What Language? (%)

Here is a chart from my game as an example.

01-15 - Imperial (aka Common Viridian)

15-20 - Alryan

21-25 - Antillian

26-30 - Dunael

31-35 - Ghinoran

36-40 - Skandik

41-45 - Tharbrian

46-50 - Amazon

51-55 - Altanian

56-60 - Avalonian

61-65 - Orichalan

66-70 - Old High Viridian

71-72 - Wild Speech

73-74 - Skeletongue

75-76 - Duvan'Ku

77-87 - Grimscribe

88-91 - Demonic

92-93 - Wild Elf/Bog Elf

94-95 - Lizardfolk

96-99 - Chthonic Elf

00 - Something really old/rare (draconic or something else cool)

EXAMPLE - Here I rolled fairly low, a 15. The sword can speak one language. I rolled Wild Elvish and decided it was made by the elves to destroy the heretical cult of Inma!

6. EGO Modifiers & Personality Strength

1 - Begin with item's starting EGO score as per Step 1.

2 - Add 1 EGO for every magical 'plus' an item has. Double this bonus for weapons that came into the process with special abilities (a +1 sword adds +1 EGO, a +3 sword of sharpness adds +6 EGO, etc) 

If the item is some weird thing from an OSR blog with no pluses you must use your discretion. Eyeball a power level between 1 (+1 sword, simple misc. magic item) and 10 (+5 holy avenger, staff of the magi). If you're completely stuck roll 1d10, or 1d6+1d4, or whatever.

3 - Include bonuses from Step 3 and Step 5, if any.

4 - Add the item's INT + EGO together to find its Personality Strength (PS).

EXAMPLE - The sword started with EGO 4. Add 2 for the sword's +2 bonus.

Total EGO of 6.

"Xyrxidon" Sword +2, Lawful

INT 14, EGO 6, speaks wild elvish

Detect shifting rooms/walls/sloping passages in 10' , detect secret doors in 5'

Resolving Personality Conflicts

Personality conflicts arise when the intelligent item's desires are not being met by its wielder. These contests are resolved with Personality Strength scores. 

The wielder of an item has Personality Strength equal to their INT + CHA + level.  This diminishes as the character suffers damage. The experience level component of this formula is reduced in proportion to hit point damage suffered.

 

The DMG explains it quite Gygaxianly, it's actually less math than it seems. The DM needs to calculate this just once (and when the character gains a level). Find the character's hp breakpoint at which the item's PS is higher than his, and make a note of it. There is no need to keep track of floating modifiers, since they don't matter most of the time.

EXAMPLE - Tjarg the Fighter is 5th level with 9 INT, 9 CHA and 30 hp. He normally has a Personality Strength of 5+9+9 = 23. For every 1/5 of his total hp he loses (6 points in this case) he deducts 1 point from his PS - so at 24 hp his PS is reduced to 22, at 18 hp it is 21 and so on.

If Tjarg is using our +2 sword above with its INT 14 & EGO 6 (PS of 20), you can see clearly at 12 hp he is tied with the sword and once his hp reaches 6, the sword's personality is stronger than his! All Tjarg's DM needs to do is write down "Tjarg loses contest w/sword at 6 hp."

As long as the item has a lower Personality Strength than its wielder, it can make its desires known and refuse to use its abilities if frustrated, but has no power over the character.

When an intelligent item has a PS higher than its wielder it may dominate him at any time. It may force him to attack certain opponents or allies, refuse to strike foes, force him to surrender or to drop it, etc. The likelihood of this happening depends on the relationship between item and wielder. It may make other additional demands - encrustation with gems, a fancy scabbard or case to be stored in, other efforts toward favoured causes, things like that.

Optional Rule for Personality Conflicts:

One thing I don't like about the DMG rules: it is trivial to roll up an intelligent weapon that will never win a personality conflict! This doesn't seem that exciting to me. Maybe you want a bit more uncertainty in your game?

It requires a bit more note-taking. The DM must note the wielder's Personality Strength at multiple breakpoints. Perhaps full hp, slightly hurt, half hp and near death. Keep these notes nearby for reference. When a personality conflict arises, the DM rolls 1d8 for both the item and wielder, adding it to their PS scores before resolving the contest.

EXAMPLE - A magical boon has increased Tjarg's INT and CHA scores to 10. His Personality Score is now 25. His humble sword can only win a battle of wills when he has 0 hp left - not very useful! Instead, the DM notes his Personality Strength at 12 hit points (PS 22) and 6 (PS 21).

During a difficult fight Tjarg gets hurt badly, reducing his hp to 11 (therefore, PS to 22). His sword has new plans for him and attempts to take control. The DM rolls 1d8 for each of them. Tjarg gets a 3, totaling 25. The sword rolls an 8, totaling 28. Today isn't Tjarg's lucky day...

I have not tested this idea very much. It would have to be calibrated. You could make it more or less random by changing the size of the die. If you used a d4 or d6, upset results would be rare. A d20 would make the whole thing way too random. d8 or d10 seems like a nice middle ground - the die roll will count for about 1/4 to 1/3 of success or failure, with the remainder upheld by statistics. Just enough that one can't be certain all the time!

Optional Rule for Different Versions of the Game:

The DMG rules are calibrated for players with certain statistics. Probably using 4d6 drop-the-lowest method, or perhaps something more generous than that. From the anecdotal evidence I've seen, successful AD&D PCs tend to have 1, 2 or even 3 exceptional statistics (15 or over), with the rest hovering around average. Consider this when calibrating the PS of your intelligent items.

If you play B/X and use 3d6 in order, for example, maybe you would reduce all item PS scores by 10-20% to balance out the lower stats.

[CHANGES]

This system will generate intelligent items that are slightly different from the DMG version in some ways:

Section 1 - Ignore "no intelligence, but strongly aligned" and this is exactly as per the DMG, I just condensed the math for you.

Aligned items being commonplace adds a sense that they were created for a real purpose. Picking up a wand of fireballs that only works for Chaotics, an Evil sword of sharpness, or a suit of armour made by a Lawful cleric helps to embed these items in the game world.

Section 2 - I rearranged the order of the alignments so that law, neutrality and chaos were grouped together, but the chances of rolling a given alignment are still the same. Effects of opposing alignments are standard for AD&D 2-axis system, and extrapolated from there for simple alignment. [EDIT - I had to fix this. Before damage was impossible if the wielder was Neutral, lame]

Effects of aligned, but unintelligent weapons are my own. 

Demon weapons will occur about 6% of the time, and be explained in a later post.

Section 3 - The first table is BTB.

Extraordinary Powers are more likely (7% instead of 2% BTB), but the really powerful ones will occur less often so this seems fair. Some of the better Extraordinary Powers now add extra EGO to the item. This is fair, since rolling up an item that lets you teleport or fly every day seems like a really big deal!

I reworked the abilities so they fit my game better and have more variety. Sloping passages and trick walls are rare in my dungeons (unlike in the old days) so I combined them into one result, then I added some other cool abilities, etc.

Section 4 - Basically the same but I added more purposes to the table to give it some variety.

I removed "special purpose powers," so you'll never get a disintegrate-on-hit sword, but those were only going to happen 0.02% of the time anyway, so who cares?

Section 5 - BTB, I just included the EGO modifiers to make your life easier.

Section 6 - BTB, I just helped with the math.

*****

This is already getting long, and even more tables are coming up so let's quit while we're ahead. Rules for Demon Weapons coming up in the next installment!

REVIEW - Dream House of the Nether Prince

Dream House of the Nether Prince
AD&D level 14+
by Anthony Huso
blog - thebluebard.com
art by Valin Mattheis - website
maps by Tim Hartin - website
buy hardcover and pdf here

Since I read Ben L's review of The Night Wolf Inn and had to get myself a copy, I have followed the exploits of Anthony Huso, one of 1st edition AD&D's most devoted exponents. He has a long series of posts on his blog about his BtB AD&D home game. He makes no apologies for his playstyle and is uninterested in compromising for the mainstream.

Also, he likes Blue Oyster Cult [1]. My kinda guy!

The final adventure in the author's six-year home game, Dream House of the Nether Prince is set inside the abyssal palace of the Demon Prince Orcus. Being a fan of the goat-headed one himself, obviously I had to get my hands on it.

A digression: 

Back in the bad old days of the '90s, we had Planescape. I could never quite get my head around it [2]. The idea of a fantasy-Dickensian London where you run into a demon at a bar, but he's just hanging out drinking a funny-coloured beer, looking for mortals to tempt or selling you Green Steel weapons... it never sat right with me. Just like Twilight did to vampires, Planescape took what should be the most profound manifestations of evil - beings that are truly inhuman in every sense - and watered them down into regular guys with horns & tails.

Huso keeps demons harsh. Dream House begins with The Enchiridion, an 11-page treatise on AD&D demons. This section really showcases his imaginative approach. He takes every hint & clue dropped by Gygax in the core books, extrapolating outwards from there while remaining faithful (as far as I can tell) to the source material. This section covers a huge range of topics ranging from special Abyssal effects to new treasure, demonic transmogrification and more.

Maybe you already have rules for some of these in your game, but The Enchiridion has something worthwhile for everyone. The sections on amulets and summoning are really interesting. The rules are a bit complex in terms of what happens when demons are killed with/without amulets, what happens to the amulets, etc. but they are absolutely Gygaxian: I can see how players interacting with these systems will produce lots of downstream effects that will drive ongoing campaign play. They can see what works and what doesn't, make demonic enemies, strike bargains (successfully or not) or struggle to destroy a demon permanently.

I love the treasure section, always a high point of Huso's work. Gold piece values are provided for an entire economy based on human corpses (the demons eat them) and abyssal larvae. Along with these are exotic trade goods, some new and some from his other adventures like Dam Marmara or ebonwood bars. This kind of variety in treasure keeps things interesting, especially in a high-level adventure that has literally tens of millions of gp for the taking!

A section on abyssal weather, special effects & other hazards adds icing on the Cake of Pain that adventuring in the lower planes is meant to be. Effects range from maddening winds to sulfuric rain, toxic snow, mutations and even earthquakes. All of this should make your players rue the day they ever delved into the Abyss before anyone rolls initiative. 

Planescape this ain't.

ACHTUNG!!!

BIG-TIME SPOILERS AHEAD

Dream House is written for the author's home campaign and no concessions are made to the rest of us. The only hook we get is the following:

"You have obtained the gobbet of mindless immortal flesh, known as the Starfire Neonate. To prevent [a hideous elder god] from ending your world, you must bring the Neonate's imbecile god-flesh into direct contact with [the elder god]. Much like the meeting of a Xag-ya and a Xeg-yi, the event will destroy or [more likely] banish both.

Because the [elder god] inhabits the trackless depths of the Prime Material's cosmic void, the only way to find and reach it, is to use a gate. The only known gate is in the Abyss, and it is located in Orcus' Iron Vauntmure--for the Prince of the Undead doth treat with the [elder god] time to time.

Ergo, the PC's motive is quite simple.

1. Arrive in Pazunia
2. Enter the Iron Fort
3. Find and Open the Gate
4. Force the Starfire Neonate to Touch the [elder god]"

It then goes on to explain that this whole adventure (and maybe your whole campaign!?) is part of an elaborate long-term plot by Orcus. The characters are going to be catspaws in his never-ending war with Demogorgon, whom Orcus hopes to draw out at an opportune moment and defeat for good.

This is totally awesome but rather specific and may not apply to my game or yours. Cool that we get a slice of Huso's totally fucking wild home game, but it would be nice to get a few more readily usable hooks or rumours. Honestly though, if your DMing chops are remotely up to the task of running this adventure you can come up with a reason for the PCs to go there.

*****

The adventure section itself runs 89 pages, spanning 137 rooms over three castle levels and the caverns below. It is crammed with hordes of unflinchingly dangerous monsters and dickish traps. I want to see the character sheets of the party that survived this shitstorm. Did your group squash Acererak and piss in Vecna's eye-hole? Maybe you have a shot at this.

There aren't many rooms of the "let's mess with it and see what happens" type, usually staples in modern OSRland. There is no faction play based on reaction rolls and figuring out what the NPCs want. Dream House is a pounding, ceaseless battery of monsters and traps. Curiosity and fiddling with things is rarely the right move. Many rooms are simply a drain on resources best bypassed or avoided. This adventure demands that the players function at a high level of competence all the way through. Individually some of these encounters may not have too much going on, but the overall effect is powerful and highlights Huso's approach rooted in a deep reading of the DMG and the classic Gygax modules, especially the S series I think.

Notes are provided on monster behaviour in terms of investigating disturbances, guarding areas and chasing foes in the form of small icons next to the monster statblocks. This is a nice shorthand that you will definitely use.

The tunnels below the fortress are called The Warrens of the Prince and they're just a warm up: pit traps into frozen abysses, ghoulification curses, Vrock packs, 14,000 Manes demons and a few really harsh uniques (the 24 HD scarlet beast of revelation!!!). This level is mostly monsters and traps and I felt a lack of interactivity here, although the rooms that do have more going on are very cool. There are a few bangers like the Rag-Man, and the treasure room with possibly every cursed item in the book. 

As the players ascend things get progressively more strange and interesting. The first floor is the Court of Orcus. Here we get another dose of dangerous passive effects. These are generally under-used in modern adventures and it's a shame. Huso does these really well, adding another layer of tactical challenge for characters who are presumably loaded down with tons of game-breaking magic items & spells, without engaging in cheap gimping. The Braziers of Devotion act as gaze attacks that force victims to sacrifice valuable goods in them and Dimensional Ward Stones slay anyone Teleporting into their area of effect (there goes the scry-and-die, oops).

The rooms get more dickish here. Doors that Finger of Death you, illusory walls, 20HD zombie guardians, disintegration pits, mutations, suicide-inducing fear effects, squads of Yochlols and Type VIs. A few no-save screwjobs like the stairs that throw you out into the Deep Astral for 1d10 years. They are sometimes telegraphed, but Huso is also counting on players that are as seasoned as their characters being able to spot dangerous situations.

The rooms also get much cooler, with more weird things to look at and interact with: the Wand of Orcus is kept here, there are weird high-tech machines you can play with, a dangerous game of 'pill-roulette' administered by grotesque eyeless undead bitches, and even one of Tiamat's eggs! Orcus His Damned Self is here on his throne and will address the group if they get close, urging them to ascend further to reach their goal (all part of the plan).

The second floor is the High Temple Prisons, consisting mostly of unique foes that are dangerous in the extreme. There are a few imprisoned folks to be rescued like captured paladins, devas and a solar. The most involved room is a little extradimensional war between Orcus and Tiamat. The PCs can enter, travel around the small hexmap and team up with Orcus' forces to fight packs of ancient chromatic dragons! Yikes.

The top floor is called the Spires of Damnation. This floor is almost all unique enemies, specials and weird stuff including some really nasty combats. You know what you're getting into at this point. 6 Mariliths are killing the Incubus King. A masked demon orgy. A pack of 23 vampires and their mistress, the Duchess of Bats. Sut, the Walking Demon. The Dark Seer. Any one of these would be a battle to cap off someone else's campaign - in Dream House they are packed in cheek by jowl.

Finally, we come to the end. If the PCs can survive Witch Hall, avoid being crushed in the Thighs of the North and reach the Doors of Ultimate Sacrifice - the Prince's Duel begins! Demogorgon appears, and each Demon Prince will speak to the group during a time stop, offering them safe passage, absurd riches and other sweet stuff to side against the other. Once a bargain (if any) is made, battle is joined! The stat blocks for Orcus and Demogorgon run into multiple pages including special abilities, immunities, artifacts and minions. Satan help you trying to run this combat anyway, but I think miniatures would be a necessity. Rules for The Primal Order by Peter Adkison (some kind of supplement for divine & demonic powers I think) are also provided, if you have that book.

After the battle (if anyone survives), the Golden Doors can be approached. They require willing sacrifices to open, just in case you thought the struggle was over. At this point you're saving the world, so that paladin you spent half of a real-life decade building to 15th level? The one who was only a week from retirement? Who had plans of raising sheep on a little farm outside Midwall? He's not gonna make it home.

The Appendices consist of about 25 pages of supplemental material. Sci-fi weapons sit alongside powerful magical artifacts, some new illusion spells, demons & undead. Everything is cool and worth using. A d100 random undead table (references monsters from Dragon and even AD&D modules), gated demons table and some monster statblock summaries are useful references. Finally, the Epilogue offers some helpful advice on running Orcus & Demogorgon and how the fortress reacts to the PCs. 

*****

There you have it. Dream House of the Nether Prince is not perfect, but it is pure. The work of a true disciple of Gygax. It asks for a great deal - few players are ready to face this challenge, perhaps even fewer DMs could run it. Everyone in your group should be seasoned AD&D veterans to even contemplate this. But what heights you'll climb together! The party will either be ground up by the numberless, ravening hordes of the Abyss - or win through after tremendous battle and sacrifice to see a Demon Prince destroyed and the world saved. This is what D&D is all about.

Good: Grand, ambitious, epic, unique. Beautiful artwork. Great supplemental sections. Insanely lethal. High-level AD&D the way God and Gary intended.

Bad: Big-ass stat blocks. Heavily combat-focused. Can be tough to scan due to the amount of information. Refers back to other material you may not own. A niche product in multiple ways. Insanely lethal. 

9/10 Demon Princes

The book has a credits section, playtesters aren't listed, although you can go read about the final session on Huso's blog.

*****

[1] - I had owned the Night Wolf Inn for a year, and then listened to Secret Treaties again. Give it a try.

[2] - Even though Planescape: Torment is probably the best computer RPG ever made, Balance In All Things, Amen.

Now some Abyssal music to play us out:

New Release: Footprints Issue #25

 It's finally out!

Footprints Magazine from Dragonsfoot. Packed with almost 200 pages of Completely Free old school gaming scene goodness.

Get it HERE.

I bring this up because this issue has a 20-page adventure for Labyrinth Lord written and lovingly illustrated by ME. For characters of levels 3-6 with about 50 keyed areas.  

It's called Gilded Dream of the Incandescent Queen. Originally it was for a random dungeon design contest and then took on a life of its own after that. I wrote it so that it could be dropped in to anybody's campaign, and I hope you, gentle reader, give it a chance and try playing it in your own game.

Venture into a floating sanctum built to transcend mortality itself! Weigh your soul on the great scales before Zarmuun, Eater of Hearts! Battle the sadistic Witch-Queen, plunder her vast treasure hoard, sail her ocean-going barge, or climb the celestial staircase up to a mysterious fate...?

Random Monster Generator Shootout!!

I can never get enough monsters. I will do whatever I can to get my greasy hands on any beasts that will throw my players for a loop - if the book is reusable, so much the better! So let's talk about some random monster generators that I have found recently and see how they work.


*****

1st edition AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide
Appendix D: Random Generation of Creatures from the Lower Planes 

by Gary Gygax

The all-time legend, defending champion, can Gary keep his throne with all these nu-old-school upstarts coming after the crown? Let's find out!

I discovered Appendix D in my copy of DMG just recently. I only found a hard copy a few months ago, I've had such a great time absorbing Gary's teachings directly. Stumbling on this section inspired the post you're now reading.

Appendix D consists of a mere two pages (not even. 3 and a half columns) of tables and guidelines for random demons, devils and the like. It starts out like a Monster Manual entry with random rolls built in line by line. Example:

"SIZE: S, M, or L (d8, 1 = S, 2-4 = M, 5-8 = L)"

After a while, this shit can get DENSE. Gary doesn't slow down to explain things. After determining stats, tables follow for appearance, body shape, skin colour, appendages, etc. Some of these tables interact weirdly - like rolling "thin" and "broad" under General Characteristics. Of course Gary also references a certain Dragon magazine article if you want more ideas. Thanks pal, I'll just run out and pick that up...

The section on special attacks and defenses is minimal and requires some work on the DM's part. The two tables are more of a jumping-off point. Actually, that's a good description of the whole appendix. It will give you a sketch of the monster, but you'll have to fill in the blanks to make it coherent. Gary gives us a sea of tables to wade through and STILL we have to decide attacks, damage, and special abilities on our own.

How many rolls? Around 30 give or take.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? No way
Variety and reusability? It's designed for a specific type of creature, so variety is limited but it's endlessly reusable. Running through this a handful of times could give you a whole new infernal order to go alongside demons/devils/daemons.

SAMPLE MONSTER - "The Bubblegum Owlbear"

Frequency: Rare
No. Appearing: 1
Armour Class: -3
Move: 9"
Hit Dice: 8
% In Lair: 10%
Treasure Type: NONE, haha fuck you!
No. of Attacks: 4
Damage/Attack: 1-8 / by weapon x 3
Special Attacks: 18/00 strength, summoning
Special Defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit, immune to cold, acid
Magic Resistance: -10%
Intelligence: Average
Alignment: CE
Size: M

I rolled: owl head w/ crest or peak, twitching moving visage, tiny human ears, small slitted black eyes, large toothed mouth, bearlike body, thin and narrow, prehensile tail, odour of vomit, pink furred body, spined back, tentacles, one human-nailed hand, one withered & bony hand, insectile feet.

Sheesh. It's a mixed-up demonic TENTACLED PINK OWLBEAR! How much more Gygaxian can you get? This is perfect for an AD&D demon. I'm using these guys in my game - in E6 this could be a unique demon prince! On the downside, imagine the difficulty of describing this mess to the players? I wish I could draw.

Its tentacle-hands and prehensile tail (which I reckon should all look the same) will all carry weapons of various types. With its exceptional strength, it could do an absurd amount of damage in one round. The special ability is summoning, so bubblegum owlbears have a 50% chance to open a Gate which calls either one of their kind (30%) or 1-4 minor demons.


*****


The Random Esoteric Creature Generator for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing Games and their Modern Simulacra, Tenth Anniversary Edition

by James Edward Raggi IV
from Lamentations of the Flame Princess
lotfp.com
Buy the PDF here - $9.99, the print edition looks sold out


OKAY, we'll keep tonight's party going with a club banger... the thousand-pound gorilla... the standard by which all others are judged. You know it, you love it: the RECGFCFRPG&TMS!

My copy says 'Third Printing' on it, and no wonder. This thing fucking rules, and it's almost unfair to everyone else having this ringer in the competition.

First of all: the art is fantastic. At the back of the book is a collection of the simple black & white images from the earlier printings, and you can compare page-by-page how they were reinvented in lurid full colour throughout the book. The illustrations give the sense that the artists took a real joy in their work. I imagined a dude at a drafting table rubbing his hands together, cackling to himself as he renders another hapless adventurer's disembowelment.

The tables? Oh yeah, they're really good. Hyper-detailed, Raggi leaves very little up to the DM here, in a good way. The entries are really detailed, and when you have rolled your way through you should have everything from shape, size, special attacks to even battle tactics and motivation. Sometimes the combinations are maddeningly bizarre, which might require some work to reconcile. The motivation throughout is to give your game table something it's never seen before.

At the end, Raggi rounds it off with a few pages of advice on 'Putting It All Together.' You may not agree with every single thing he says here, but I found it informative and useful.


How many rolls? Minimum 6, could be around double that if you use every optional table.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? I think I could do it while the PCs were on a smoke break if I got lucky.
Variety and reusability? Fucking TONS of both. The tables are weighted so the really exotic things (body shape: dodecahedron) won't come up too often, but there are so many entries in the 'distinctive features' and 'special abilities' tables that you'll never run out of weird combinations.


SAMPLE MONSTER - "The Lobble"

Armour Class: 17
Move: normal human + 10' (depends on the system you're playing I guess)
Hit Dice: 4
Attacks: 1d10+1 x 4
Alignment: C
Size: Huge
Morale: 10

I rolled: base HD 2; bipedal; combination of insect (beetle) and crustacean (lobster); huge size; illusionary features (oozing sores); 

So the 'combination' result can really get dangerous. An insect needs six limbs, but a biped stands on two legs so the other four must be arms. Add in a crustacean with claws on the end of every arm and you have four claw attacks. With its huge size, it's going to chop through adventurers in no time. I can imagine to employ its wall-crawling ability, all six limbs cut right into the rock of the dungeon as it scuttles up and down.

Tougher to imagine is the 'illusionary features' ability. This huge beast has oozing slime and pus all over it which is... just an illusion. How? Why? Is it some sort of defense against giant lobble-eating predators? Is it a magical effect or curse of some kind? Will the players ever find out? I have no idea, let's see what happens.


*****


The Level 1 Creature Generator

by Michael Raston
from Gorgzu Games
lizardmandiaries.blogspot.com
Buy the PDF here - $1


I was just browsing around on RPGnow and came across this. From the same guy who wrote Towers of the Weretoads, a short adventure I saw reviewed at Ten Foot Pole.

This tiny little pdf (only nine pages!) would be a bargain at twice the price. The monster generation is simple. Roll on the Basic Shape table, the Form table, and the Special Ability table. That's it!

These elements combine to create a weird variation on a familiar creature. Basic Shape describes the creature's overall body type, like "man," "octopus" or "elephant." Form changes the substance of the creature, like gold-plated skin or a gaseous body. These entries along with the special abilities are cool and very specific. Because the basic shapes are all things we already know, you won't get a bizarre monstrosity like the RECG. It will be a variation and twist on something you already know.

Being made of simple building blocks means this booklet is easy to mess with or add to as you like. You can pick entries if you want. Need a strange mutant fish? Just roll on the other two tables and there you go. Maybe you want a monster that charms its victims, but y'don't know what it should look like? Where it sacrifices depth and complexity, it makes up for it with lightning speed and ease of use.


How many rolls? Exactly three.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? I'd use this baby in the middle of a sentence.
Variety and reusability? Both middling. I can envision myself adding new entries in the future to replace abilities or forms I've rolled more than once. There are theoretically 64,000 combinations but you don't actually want to run 40 different monsters with the same special ability, do you?


SAMPLE MONSTER - "The Silt Sneak"

I rolled: Basic Shape: Goblin. Form: Crumbling, craggy, sandy and granular mass, can decompose into pile of grains then reconstitute. Special Ability: Will attempt to steal one target in PC party and spirit them away to some burrow or lair and torture them.

A sand-goblin that loves to steal and torture adventurers? That's bloody cool. Silt sneaks lie around in sand-pile form waiting for passersby, then they reform and attack from behind to pick off a straggler for their wicked sports! Why do they transform like this, is it a curse or a spell ability? Are they goblins who can turn into sand, or sand that's been animated in the shape of goblins?

This gets my mind working on a desert cave dungeon where they can blend into the sand underfoot. Some ankhegs, giant ants and a mummy or two to round things off. I'm into it!!


*****

In conclusion

These three generators are all great for different things. Having ultra-quick-rolling tables is handy as hell for my bad habit of last-minute prep. The denser generators are so detailed and thick with content that I find it hard to imagine exhausting them.

I would use each one of these generators. I find it hard to pick a favourite but I did call this a 'shootout'...

If I could only use one it would have to be the RECG. It sits in a middle ground between the lightning-fast generation of the L1CG and the baroque density of Appendix D. The tables are long and detailed enough that it'll be hard to exhaust them while simple enough in execution that I can roll up another monstrosity relatively quickly. The excellent production values in comparison to a lot of RPG books give it that last push over the top.


*****

Whew! After digging through my books/PDFs looking for more monster generators, I already have more than enough to do another round like this.

Until then, go roll up some brand new
SLAVES
TO
DARKNESSSSSS