Play Report: Death Love Doom [LotFP]

I have been writing these play reports for my online Labyrinth Lord group, set around the City-State of the World Emperor. Since I spend so much time on them, I thought I'd share them here for everyone to peruse. This session actually took place last year, before we switched to online play a few months ago. This weekend we're also returning to Land's End - the fun never stops.

As one of my players said the other day: "your world has more shit to do than the real one right now!"

*****

2nd-12th Meadowlark, 4433

Characters

Aladar IX, M-U 1
"Sir Karavon" aka Tullius Jr, fighter 1
Lothos the Undesirable, elf 1
Eric Withakay, cleric 1
Meep, dwarf 1
Veigar Thricescarred, fighter 1


Leaving Drydale
(see last session)

After their torchlight exhumation, the gang re-interred the corpse of James Blake with a mocking note, taunting whoever might come searching afterwards for his journal and The Great Devourer.

"Meet on the 10th of Blackmoon in Viridistan. Under the Grand Red Statue, look for the man with twelve lit candles."

After recollecting their previous adventures, they decided to follow up a lead at the port of Targnol a few days travel away:

"The rich merchant Philotheos Sten hasn't been around lately. His large estate lies on the edge of town, and nobody has been seen coming or going for several days. Some fear the worst while others remark on the man's riches, accumulated through a lifetime of trading. A few thugs are going to case his place soon. You might be able to beat them to it and see what kind of loot is lying around!"

The port of Targnol was a sprawling mess of crumbling wooden buildings packed with Imperial sailors on leave, dockworkers, merchants, thieves and cutthroats. Notable buildings included a grand temple to Thoth and a mysterious black pyramid containing a sleeping sorceress within a glass coffin. The town offers a standing reward for anyone who can reawaken this mysterious ebony-skinned woman.

Not having an interest in that, the gang met with a local contact of Two-Faced Humphrey's (he had business back in Viridisan, and couldn't accompany them). The man was a sullen and scarred Viridian named Komang. He gave them some basics, and a few trips around town asking questions filled in the blanks:

- Philotheos and his family hadn't been seen in two weeks, but there had been no surge of activity suggesting they were moving house or taking an extended vacation. The current theory was sudden illness or foul play of some kind.
- Old Graham's Gang, a strange and mysterious crew of all-child thieves from the capital about whom rumours have swirled for years, were casing the place. They planned to raid it for valuables the next night. Komang offered to put the party in touch with them, but this offer was declined.
- Philotheos kept no personal guards, for he lived on the edge of town in a rich area patrolled by (notoriously lazy) Imperial troops.

The party pooled their money and bought a wagon and two horses. On the way up to Philotheos' mansion, Eric and "Sir Karavon" drove while the rest hid under some straw in the back, hoping the "knight" and priest would discourage prying eyes or nosy guardsmen.

As night drew down they pulled into the driveway and approached the great mansion. Disdaining to explore the large grounds, "Sir Karavon" knocked on the door and getting no response, opened it. A distant weeping could be heard, but no foes presented themselves.


Charnel Mansion

The party entered the lightless home and progressed through a set of double-doors into a large parlor and dining-room. The place was trashed. Plates and vessels broken, splashes of blood everywhere, and the source of the weeping: a young Viridian girl strung up to the chandelier, her innards hanging out in a bloody mess!

In terrible shape as she was, the girl regained some lucidity after being released from the chandelier. She told them her name was Ariel, and related a strange story:

“One night after dinner, Father told everyone that he had a very special present for Mother. It was a very pretty necklace! But then a big monster and two smaller monsters came out of the necklace! And the big monster told the smaller monsters to get the lovers, and they jumped on Father and Nanny Alba! Then Mother and Grandma started yelling at Father, and everyone ran away! Then Grandma came to get me... and now I’m here.”

The child's injuries were quite severe and the party wasn't sure if they could help her. In the meantime, they explored the dining room and parlour, spotting an oil painting of a newlywed couple with a copper nameplate that read:

Philotheos Sten and Domitilla Sten. Married Sunstrong 17, 4423

Mounted on the wall above the painting were two fine-looking crossed falcatas that looked functional enough. The group took all these items and left Ariel for the moment to continue exploring.

The two other rooms on the main floor turned out to be Philotheos' office and a conservatory. The centrepiece in the conservatory was a grand harp, and three statuettes of dark blue & yellow marble rested on the mantelpiece: a dragon, eagle and nymph. The group took all of these and loaded them into their cart.

In Philotheos' office, Lothos rifled the great oak desk and found stacks of business papers - deeds, shipping manifests, etc. He pocketed a stack to peruse later, along with a fine stiletto in one of the drawers. The group was drawn to the large, shining silvery cube in the back corner which turned out to be an advanced combination safe! Three number-wheels ranged from 1 to 20. After giving it some thought, they fetched the painting of the Stens' wedding-day from their wagon. Guessing that 17 and 8 were important (Sunstrong is the 8th month of the year), they tried a few combinations until hitting upon 17 - 8 - 1. The shining door swung open and revealed Philotheos' hidden fortune!

It was at this time that Lothos thought to consult the mysterious ancient tome in Eric's possession. Pricking his finger, he wrote on the pages in blood, describing the party's situation and what they knew. Oddly, the book had a ready answer! This disaster was likely caused by the gift Philotheos gave his wife. The book identified it as The Necklace of the Sleepless Queen. It was created long ago by someone called the Dead King, to destroy all love in the world.

Perturbed by this news and not wanting to meet Ariel's sadistic grandmother or the "monsters" spawned by the necklace, the party elected to start the mansion ablaze and retreat safely with their wealth. Aladar IX used his Unseen Servant to carry a torch around inside the house while the others barred the door to prevent any aberrations from escaping. They waited until flames were visible from outside, then rode out of Targnol full-tilt, their wagon full of loot.

Return To the Immortal City

On the road home, Lothos consulted the strange blood-drinking tome again, learning its name: Pheldrazash. It claimed to know many other secrets, and was willing to teach him and Aladar IX a spell that would expand their knowledge for free: Call to Familiar Spirit.

Two days' travel from Viridistan, the party approached the Great Wall: a colossal structure a quarter-mile high and 200 feet thick, built by the ancients in the dawning days of the world for reasons unknown to men. Approaching the eastern entrance, called the Moon Gate, they met a farmer on the road who told them a strange tale:

"Not too far from here, a brand-new building has sprung up overnight! It's a great structure in a bizarre foreign style, red stone and dark wood with a peaked black roof and pointed square towers, set back from the road on the edge of the Elsenwood. Travellers say it simply appeared one day with no signs of construction, no work crews, and certainly no negotiations with the elves who make the woods dangerous for honest Imperial folk!"

After hearing that rumour, the gang pressed on towards the City of Spices, glad to be home after their bizarre and harrowing journeys. To move their ill-gotten loot, Lothos travelled to the Otherside district where many of his elven kinfolk live in ghettos, segregated from the larger city. His cousin Darius said he "knew a guy," and a meeting could be arranged at the Plaza of Dark Delights that night. The sullen, cloaked Viridian who met Darius & the party was eager to buy most of their loot - his eyes lit up with greed at the sight of the gold trade bars. He wasn't especially interested in the painting, but kicked in a bit of silver for it as part of the whole deal.

Thousands of silver richer than they had ever been before, the party cast about for something to spend their money on. Someone had heard of a pleasure palace for the rich in the exclusive Cliffside district, called The Sign of Olive & Lotus. Anything could be had there for the right price: fine liquor, exotic foods, high-stakes games of chance, tantalizing companions and strange drugs.

Once again installing "Sir Karavon" in the front of their humble wagon, the group rode up the gates of Cliffside, waving their stolen deeds in the guards' faces. Suitably cowed by the presence of a knight who owned such property, they opened the gates. Following the main Cliffsedge Road, the party espied a beacon in the night. A lone tout, signalling late-night revellers down to his place of business, which turned out to be the very establishment they sought!

The Sign of Olive & Lotus was built right into the side of the cliffs, accessible only by narrow, ancient stair carved into the living rock. The view of Trident Gulf during the day is said to be unparalleled. Checking in cost a princely sum of 200 silvers per person per night, for the cheapest suites and a berth for the horses and wagon! The group was led through sparkling marble hallways by a mute eunuch wearing only a sash of gold lamé. Over carpets made from the skins of striped tigers and snow-white northern wolves, past doorways trimmed in gold leaf with smiling silk-clad houris the party reached their rooms.

With a bit of privacy for the first time in a while, Lothos and Aladar IX ignited the special incenses and herbs they had previously brought and each cast the spell that would summon a spiritual helper to their side: Call to Familiar Spirit.

This done, the gang prepared to party as only those in the Immortal City can...

Enemies Defeated: 

none

Treasure:

3 blue & yellow marble statues
1900 copper coins

633 silver coins

10 gold trade bars

a mound of gold & silver jewellery - necklaces, rings, bracelets, etc

portrait of Philotheos and Domitilla Sten, in frame

Ornate grand harp (planned to sell later)
fine stiletto (Lothos)
2 decorative falcatas (Lothos and Meep)
stack of Philotheos' documents, deeds, etc (Lothos)

Play Report: No Salvation For Witches! [LotFP]

The kickoff to my (currently online) Labyrinth Lord game based around the City-State of the World Emperor was last Halloween, when I ran an ostensible one-shot for my regulars and some of their friends who had never gamed before. 

I wrote this report up for all of them to read, and may as well share it with you folks here. Now that we're making progress in this campaign, you can expect other fun material forthwith. 

I also included what I thought would be a fun campaign kickoff, combined with NSFW - the adventure idea at the back of Kelvin Green's Forgive Us, called "Death And Taxes." Mixing these adventures together went pretty well, and of course I had to add in some of my own ideas as well. Later play reports will show that the PCs, in classic fashion, have not pursued ANY of the leads discovered in this session.

*****

NO SALVATION FOR WITCHES

1st Meadowlark, 4433

Characters

Aladar IX, half-elf M-U 1

Tullius Jr, human fighter 1

Lothos the Undesirable, elf 1

Eric Withakay, human cleric 1

Avala, human elementalist 1

Two-Faced Humphrey, human spy 1

Funeral For a Friend

The characters met at the funeral of James Blake, an old army buddy who died under mysterious circumstances. They assembled to pay their respects on the way to Drydale Priory where longstanding rumours suggested heretical activities and/or valuable treasure.

A neighbouring farmer was the only other attendee. He was confused that Bishop Gray hadn't sent at least a junior priest to officiate and worried about Blake's missing 11-year old daughter Deotina. He also mentioned a group of tax collectors had been asking questions, and asked the group to find out anything they could. A search of Blake's home turned up little except his old Legion gear and a scrap of paper torn from his diary about the taxmen. There were signs someone had packed and left in a hurry.

At the caravanserai, the party found human bodies everywhere killed and mutilated in the most horrible ways. The only two people left alive were a terrified, useless traveler named Arrerand and the concussed woman Naniela, who was beyond his power to help. She mumbled and raved about "red lights in the sky... the dancing woman with skin of diamonds" and clutched her bleeding head wound. Eric healed her injury and she became more lucid. The two helpless travelers were interrogated about the tax collectors and recent events but didn't know much. The party sent them on their way.

The priory itself was unreachable, covered by an impassable dome of lambent red light. Leaving it for the moment, the group proceeded to Drydale for clues and found the citizens in the middle of a witch trial! Leading the event was a thin, intense man named Kynnakon. Four women had already been killed and a fifth cried upon the scaffold, pleading for mercy. At the back of the village, a strange glow similar to the red dome could be seen.

Thinking quickly, Eric stepped in and engaged the man in a discussion about witches and their verification. As a man of the cloth his words carried weight on these matters and he convinced the crowd to disperse. Without his mob, Kynnakon was less confident. He released the "witch" Mertysa to the party's care and told them a strange story: six women had passed through towards the priory a few days ago armed and armoured, dressed in strange clothes. Since then all their livestock had died and they blamed witchcraft.

Lothos circled around the village to investigate the red glow. A small red sphere floated at head height, softly glowing. While the townsfolk were distracted he took it in his cloak and rejoined the group, who departed before the crowd's temper could change again. Returning to the priory, the small red sphere crumbled into dust, sympathetically bringing down the giant glowing dome and allowing entry. Unluckily for the elf, the sphere destroyed a few of his possessions as it vanished from the world - including his spellbook!

Inside The Priory

The party entered the grounds, avoiding the church for now. Searching the outbuildings revealed a succession of horrors - women giving birth to mutated children, a man and woman fused together while still alive and a puddle of fast-moving scarlet bile.

Outside the baths, they were greeted by an imposing figure - Sir Karavon, a knight in gleaming white plate mail. He demanded to know their business and claimed to serve the cause of Mistress Orelia. After all his tough talk, battle was inevitable. Lothos sustained a terrible blow from Karavon's greatsword but the group felled him together and stripped the body.

The group had had enough of these horrors. They barricaded the infirmary full of aberrant children and set the roof on fire. While they were debating their next move, Kynnakon arrived on the scene leading a small torch-and-pitchfork mob. The group took up ambush positions, Tullius Jr slipped inside incognito as Sir Karavon while Eric addressed the mob, whipping them into a witch-hunting frenzy.

Inside the church was a whirl of activity: dozens of peasant women dancing in a mad frenzy guarded by five heavily armed foreign women, overseen by two robed & hooded men and an ice-pale Avalonian sorceress in a red sash. Orelia called out to "Sir Karavon," asking the knight for a report. Tullius Jr indicated the angry mob outside and mobilized the warrior-women to battle, remaining indoors at Orelia's side in case of emergency.

Battle was joined in front of the church! The Five Bishops (as they called themselves) guarded the door in a wedge formation, bravely meeting the mob's charge. What they weren't prepared for was the party's vicious ambush: Humphrey ran up behind one for a backstab while Aladar and Lothos peppered them from a safe distance. The Bishops couldn't withstand this assault for long and began a fighting retreat into the church. This turned out to be a mistake, as the mob charged in and held the door open! Things began to happen very quickly. Tullius Jr showed his true colours when he struck Orelia by surprise with his greatsword, nearly killing her in one strike. Retaliation with her magic wand did not have its intended effect. Two-Faced Humphrey ran around to the back and climbed up to a window for a surprise attack. Eric began smashing windows which allowed Lothos, Aladar and Avala to take up firing positions.

In a deft use of magic, Aladar used his Unseen Servant to snatch Orelia's magic wand right from her hand before she could use it again. Tullius' greatsword finished her off after that. With magical support from Avala's earth elementine, a diving attack by Humphrey and a magical grasping fist from Aladar, the two robed figures were destroyed and revealed to be only the flayed skins of men animated by Orelia's witchcraft.

With all opponents defeated, the mob began dragging the dancers off the platform and the party felt the beginnings of a tremor run through the building. Thinking quickly they fled the scene just in time for the church to come crashing down in a blaze of light and magic, killing or wounding all inside! The rubble began to burn, but Eric and Humphrey dragged over a tub of water from the baths, buying everyone time to sift the wreckage, rescue a few townsfolk and recover some valuables and the mysterious book they originally sought.


Exhumation

The smoky priory grounds were visited by a new group - the much-talked-about tax collectors! Their leader was a turbaned Viridian named Irmugar, sent by the Padishah to investigate rumours that Blake had stolen or unreported wealth. They seemed not to know he was dead. The party convinced the taxmen to take the peasant survivors back to Drydale - Irmugar indicated Tullius Jr and agreed the situation was well in hand with a "Knight of the Cockatrice" present. But something else he said got the group thinking...

The adventure ended where it began with the party exhuming James Blake by torchlight. Inside his coffin with his body was a locked oak box. Prying it open revealed a battered knife in an old scabbard, a locket containing a single golden hair, Blake's diary and a strange leatherbound book called The Great Devourer.

Eric meanwhile was perusing the blackened tome he had found in the rubble and touched its faded pages with his bloodstained hands. They blossomed into fresh crimson runes and symbols, while words formed in Imperial: "Greetings. Whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

ENEMIES DEFEATED

Charles & Gwendolin
the scarlet bile
Sir Karavon
"The Five Bishops"
Orelia Woolcott
2 animated skin guardians

TREASURE

Sir Karavon's white plate mail & greatsword (Tullius Jr.)

Assorted armour, weapons and ammunition from the Bishops (various)

Orelia's ivory-tipped magic wand (Aladar IX) and red sash (Tullius Jr.)

A mysterious blackened tome (Eric)

Blake's diary (Aladar IX)

The Great Devourer (Lothos)

Locket with a golden hair (Eric)

Silver drinking horn, carved with runes and studded with garnets, slightly scuffed (640 sp)

A silver-gilt radiated brooch ringed with amethysts (1200 sp)

Solid-gold decorative phallus (800 sp)

Treasure value: 2640 sp

Each character gets 440 sp and 490 xp

*****

Don't worry - more Land's End material is in progress. Honestly the biggest obstacle to my blogging is that I'm gaming more often than I'm used to! It's a great problem to have, but one I was unfamiliar with before now.

Random Monster Generator Shootout 3 - Turbo-Speed Rainbow Fighting!!

Oh yeah, you forgot about this series? I didn't!

In case you missed them last time, check out:
Part One - started it all
Part Two - LotFP 'house round' demon-summoning edition

*****


The Tome of Adventure Design

by Matt Finch
from Frog God Games
froggodgames.com
print/pdf here

The heavy-hitter of the random table game! For those who don't know, this book has a table for everything. I have barely scratched the surface of this thing's capabilities in my own games. It is divided into four sections: Principles and Starting Points, Dungeon Design, Non-Dungeon Adventure Design, and of course what we're all here for: Monsters.

The production values for this book are decent. I have the older version (not pictured here), and it has the kind of black & white artwork we have come to expect from FGG / Necromancer. Some of the pieces are reused from books like Rappan Athuk I think, which I always thought was weird, but anyway the illustrations are just a bonus in this one. The formatting is weird as fuck though, with tables crossing pages in an awkward way. It could have done with some more editing - frequently a table with ten entries will read: "0-10 - result, 11-20 - result..." when a simple d10 would have served perfectly. The perils of copy & paste? You be the judge.

Rather than providing quick stats or a jigsaw-puzzle anatomy system like other random generators, the ToAD is geared towards generating new ideas in the prep stages. While there are still physical attributes and special attacks to be rolled, many of the tables take forms like "Planar Trading/Commodities," or "Preparations for Intelligent Undeath" meant to prod your mind in a new direction. Most monsters rolled up here could form the seed of a new adventure instead of random encounter fodder. As you'll see, these tables inevitably lead to new and interesting combinations.

There are an absurd number of tables in this book (86 in the monster section alone!) but you'll never need to roll on all of them for one creature. The first table "Monster Categories" sends you to the appropriate section for a given creature type where a more manageable selection of tables can be found. Or if you like, you can go to the second half of the monster section with a raft of all-purpose tables, allowing you to build a new creature from the ground up in a more general way. Let's see what happens:


SAMPLE MONSTER 1 - "Night Dragon"

Type - Draconic
Dragon's Unusual Physical Feature - Body: Dragon is bioluminescent or has a luminescent "lure" to attract prey like an anglerfish
Dragon's Unusual Ability - Theme: Elemental or Planar
Dragon's Mentality, Motivation and Status - Hide. The dragon is virtually obsessed with keeping itself hidden from human notice.

This is a strange one. A huge glowing winged creature that's obsessed with hiding has a real problem, but would make for an interesting stalking mission, some kind of Alien: Underdark. Every time you see the dragon's glow around the corner it runs away! Its unusual ability might be tunnelling through rocks (elemental earth)  or even Gate-ing itself around to get away. Maybe scaring the dragon into digging a new tunnel is the only way to reach a certain place? The possibilities are endless.

The second option is that only a luminescent lure is seen, while the dragon camouflages itself within the cave walls. Instead of being perpetually in conflict with itself, now its abilities and personality mesh. You never actually see the dragon until it's too late, when it eats you. A quick-thinking character who isn't distracted by the lure might shine a light on the dragon to escape certain death at the last second.

Both of these make me think of Veins of the Earth, which is a damn good start. I can't decide which idea I like better, but I would put either one in my game.


SAMPLE MONSTER 2 - "The Crabessiah"

Physical and Special Attacks - Tail attack only, 2 special attacks
Special Defenses - 3 special defenses, 2 special attributes

Tail attack - pierces
Special attack 1 - bleeding, delivered by sound
Special attack 2 - sound (prevents spellcasting), in an exhaled cone

Special Defenses - chitin, immune to fire, regenerates
Distinctive Attributes - flying creature, associated with a particular sort of cult: healing

This monster looks like a tough customer. We don't know anything about it's actual body shape except that it has a piercing tail and chitin. An insect with a stinger? Scorpion? Maybe a horseshoe crab!

Those special abilities are very interesting. We can ditch the 'exhaled' part of attack #2 and have two straight up sound-based attacks. The second one is awfully bland compared to the first, and I would roll them into a single attack - a sound so awful that it causes spontaneous bleeding is sure to make concentration difficult!

The regeneration and fire immunity make the "healing cult" result quite interesting. Although it can regenerate wounds and may even be immortal, those around it suffer terrible bleeding from its voice alone. A messed-up cult indeed if they're willing to endure that punishment to be around their beloved regenerating giant crab.

This would be a really bizarre sword & sorcery god-monster, the kind of thing Conan squares off against in a lost city on a plateau. Attended by its deranged haemophiliac cultists who attempt to sacrifice him by exsanguination! What more could you possibly want?


How Many Rolls? Varies widely. The Beasts section might be eight. The Undead section only has 5 tables, and you won't need them all at once. The Mist creature section only has one. Generating a creature from scratch starting with table 2-72 could be up to fifteen.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? Are you high?
Variety and Reusability? Borderline infinite. If you ever run this book out, send me some of your players, okay? I can never find enough.


*****

Carcosa

Spawn of Shub-Niggurath & Random Robots

by Geoffrey McKinney
from Lamentations of the Flame Princess
lotfp.com
print sold out? buy the pdf here

This one was recommended in the comments section of part two. I had forgotten about the Lovecraftian sword-and-planet madness in this book! As the most common monsters on Carcosa, the Spawn of Shub-Niggurath have to come together quickly at the table with enough variety to keep things fresh.

The first half of the tables are standard stats - movement rates and types, armor class, no. appearing, etc. The second half are descriptive - a table for colour (because it wouldn't be Carcosa without colours), eyes, mouths, hide, and 'body type' - which is a list of taxonomic animal shapes (batrachian, hexapod, annelidoid, etc) that required me to do a little googling from time to time. Finally it's rounded off with a table each for special attacks & defenses.

SAMPLE MONSTER

No. Appearing - Unique
AC - 12
Movement - 60'
Hit Dice - 5
Alignment - C

Body type - insectoid
Colour - yellow
Hide - suckered
Eyes - two
Mouth - circular gaping maw

So a great yellow bug with a suckered hide and a circular gaping mouth. Sounds Carcosa as hell!

Next up, the robot generator is even more fun than the Spawn tables. After a few basic stats, the book includes tables for cool robotic shit like treads, grenade launchers and x-ray vision! Let's see how it works:


SAMPLE MONSTER

AC - 19
Hit Points - 20-50
Movement - burrowing (210'), swimming (120'), jumping (10' to 40')

Morphology - humanoid
Offensive Systems - infrared bazooka beam (3 dice, range 3000 ft), microwave cannon beam (5 dice, range 20 miles), tractor beam
Defensive Systems - force field
Special Detection Systems - chemical identifier

Well, this thing can certainly get around. It moves slowly on the surface by jumping, but it doesn't really matter - with its microwave cannon, everything within 3 hexes is a no-walk zone!

How Many Rolls? Spawn: 12-20 Robots: 13-23++

Would I use these in the middle of a session? The Spawn tables, yes. They are compact and straightforward, across a handful of pages. Sometimes the results or ranges are strange (20-50 hit points, a 1-16 table), and it would be better if these were streamlined - trying to puzzle out how to roll these in the middle of a session is not high on my agenda. The robot table can refer you to the space alien armament table to determine its weaponry - so now I have to flip *backwards* and roll 4 or 5 more times! Almost no explanations are given for the robotic attacks, defenses or special detection systems - you'll have to roll them up in advance and think about how the abilities will work, write up your own stats.

Variety and Reusability? Somewhat limited. All you can really get for the Spawn are monsters of 'a shape and colour', so it works for an ugly beast that crops up on your random encounter table, but one seems generally the same as another. The robots are all bizarre and highly dangerous, but these tables feel unfinished. A little more development would have gone a long way for me. Given the amount of rolling necessary I would have liked to see a more fleshed-out final result.

*****


Gardens of Ynn
Hybrid-beasts

by Emmy Allen
from Dying Stylishly Games
cavegirlgames.blogspot.com
print/pdf here

I wrote an excitable review of this book a while back. Paging through it again has been great fun - this is really one of the more creative things to come out of the scene in the last few years. This thing could have made it through the gate with half the content but Emmy "went the extra 6-mile hex" and turned out something bursting at the seams with ideas.

This table is very simple. Every hybrid-beast has the same basic stats, and then we roll on three tables for its physical description and some modifiers: base animal, head, and unusual features. Let's try it out:

SAMPLE MONSTER - "Lurking Hyenoth"

HD - 4
AC - as leather

Base Animal - sloth (2 claw attacks for 1d4)
Head - hyena (extra bite attack, +4 1d8)
Unusual Features - gecko feet (can walk on walls), tiger-striped fur

Wow! I can almost picture a sloth with striped fur and a hyena head. Adding the gecko feet pushes it into another realm of oddness! Clearly these guys are a type of slow ambush predator or scavenger. Camouflaged on the ceiling or amongst the branches, they wait to pick off the weak and wounded members of the party.


How Many Rolls? Exactly four.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? Yes, as it's meant to be.
Variety and Reusability? Not too bad for what it intends to do. It will always be an animal hybrid of some kind of course. In the Gardens they are encountered singly, and each one is completely unique. If you were to roll up groups of these hybrids, each one different, they would probably blend into an unrecognizable mess. However if I were using this outside the Gardens, I would roll up an entirely new race or faction of humanoid creatures. Thus only a handful of rolls could give you a whole campaign full of strange new enemies!


Conclusion

All these generators are so different. The hybrid-beasts are ready to hit your table at a moment's notice, while no amount of rolling on the Tome of Adventure Design will give you a usable result without some further thought (and writing your own stats). I have used the Spawn of Shub-Niggurath before in my home games, but the monsters generated are interchangeable beasts, differing more or less cosmetically from each other.

In the final analysis, I have to give this round to Matt Finch and the ToAD. This is the book that launched a thousand encounters, to mangle an oft-quoted phrase. The two monsters I generated up there are already getting me excited. I'm racking my brain for a place to add them into my campaign world, and that's the best result any table can give.


*****


PS: If anyone knows of other random monster generators I should look at, please let me know in the comments. I really enjoy these roundups. They are some of my favourite posts to write and I hope other folks get some use out of them. There is no reason to use manticores, orcs or owlbears unless you really want to. 

Go out there and blow your players' minds!

Random Monster Generator Shootout Round 2 - Hyper Diabolism Edition!!!

'SUP blogland? The first random monster generator shootout was a ton of fun. With help from the comments section (pretty cool feeling to get those - thanks!), I dug around my books and pdfs to find some more. I found more than I bargained for... a lot more. Hide your game books from Pastor Steve and cancel your Something Awful forum account: this round is all about LotFP and DEMON SUMMONING!


*****

Lamentations of the Flame Princess: Rules & Magic
Summon spell

by James Edward Raggi III
from Lamentations of the Flame Princess
buy print or get the free pdf

Let's kick things off with another entry from last round's defending champion, James Raggi! Last time, the RECG took the title away from Michael Raston's Level 1 Creature Generator, although it was a tougher call than I let on at the time. Now we're going to the source and looking at the demon-summoning spell in LotFP: Grindhouse Edition.

Summoning Rules: Pretty fucking complicated for a first-level spell! The caster chooses what HD of monster to aim for when casting the spell. Make a saving throw vs. magic to hit your target. Make a 'domination roll' against the creature to see if it comes under your control. The margin of victory in this opposed roll affects the degree of control or lack thereof. This can be modified by using expensive materials to create a thaumaturgic circle and offering helpless living sacrifices (classic fantasy stuff, FINALLY!). If these rolls are failed terribly the creature goes berserk, or you might have to roll on a table of even worse consequences.

Another cool thing about this system is the 'form' table. If you fail your original saving throw, the creature has a much larger number of possible forms, each more demented than the last. This spell can have DIRE consequences for failure. Special forms include 'anti-matter,' and 'collective unconscious desire for suicide.' Heavy! The way you generate special abilities and limbs is a bit odd, generating a target number and then trying to roll under it, and there is theoretically no limit to the number of abilities/appendages a creature could have.


SAMPLE MONSTER - "John Carpenter Ant"

Because creature HD depends on caster level (you can try for HD up to 2x your level, plus modifiers), we'll use a hypothetical 3rd level wizard who has roped a few idiots in as unwitting human sacrifices. I make my rolls and summon a 7-HD creature:

HD: 7
AC: 14
Attacks: 1
Damage: d6
Speed: 120'

Shape: Insectoid
Appendages: 1 - Necrotic Proboscis
Powers: 1 - Impregnates (victims hit must save vs. poison or carry a thing)

AAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!! This is one of the less-deranged things you can roll on this table, and I definitely wouldn't want to meet it in a dark fucking alley.

How Many Rolls? Minimum 8 I think. Maximum is theoretically infinite.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? Only if I had to. I find it hard to follow. Things are out of order, rules and the corresponding tables are in different places so I have to keep flipping back and forth. Surprisingly difficult to navigate given the rules themselves are only a few pages. This could really have benefited from some streamlining or a flowchart or something.

Variety and Reusability? Plenty. Raggi doesn't disappoint. I especially like the 'appendages' table which makes great use of almost poetic adjectives to create an image in the reader's brain, instead of technical descriptions. This whole thing is like a condensed version of the RECG in a way, and can generate monsters with a similar feel.

*****


PS: MASSIVE LIGHTNING-ROUND BONUS POINTS to Saker for doing his own version of the Summon spell, with a helpful step-by-step guide! Even fucking more bonus points to Angus Warman for automating it. Now you can generate a monster in seconds when one of your players springs the damned spell on you unawares.


*****

A Red & Pleasant Land
The Guests

by Zak Smith
from LotFP
Buy the Print and pdf

Oh, y'all forgot about this one huh? I didn't. When this book came out, I was enthralled by the Guests. A believable, flavourful take on AD&D demons seen through the unique setting of Voivodja. Crammed with classic Zak-isms, these guys are no joke.

Summoning Rules: A short, punchy list of 5 requirements: an hour of preparation, a banquet including a living sacrifice, a host creature to possess (nice!), a formal poetic greeting and contracts for the guest to sign (this being Voivodja and all). Zak usually likes to keep things simple and moving fast, relying on the DM to fill in the details. This is fine for me, and has enough flavour to keep me interested without being annoying.

There are several broad types of Guests: The Unholy (agents of temptation), The Implacable (agents of destruction), The Unwelcome (agents of disruption) and The Uncreated (agents of madness). Each one has a separate series of percentage rolls for its attributes, looks, number of special abilities, etc. While The Unholy are human-shaped with chances of wings, horns, tails etc, The Uncreated are hybrids of a random object and a random animal. Then everyone rolls on two common tables: Attributes and Powers (fairly obvious).


SAMPLE MONSTER - 'Raisin-Wheel of Madness'

Implacable - Agent of Destruction
Human as base creature
Purple in colour

HD: 4 (HP: 33)
Speed: 1/2 human
Armor: plate+shield+2
Int: 12
Attacks: +5/+2 to hit, d20 damage each

Attributes - withered, 2 limbs in wrong places, 3 tentacles
Other Powers - Confusion 20' radius for d4 rounds, causes one enemy attack/spell per round to strike a target of its choosing, guest can single out a target and attack at +2 until slain - if successful it gains d4 HD
Purposes - bring disease, destroy powerful holy object

Wow. I was afraid this monster would be lame (it failed all the % rolls in the Implacable category, leaving just a plain human body). The attribute and powers tables totally rescued it! A withered purple man with one arm & leg swapped so he gimps & flops around on his mismatched limbs & tentacles is suitably gross and otherworldly. The special abilities really carry the day here, and are actually the perfect fit for a monster that seem like a weak physical threat: everybody goes crazy while it flip-flops, and the one dude who passed his save and tries to strike it ends up stabbing his confused friends anyway. Magic!

How Many Rolls? Minimum 14 I think. Could be more than 20 if you roll lots of attributes.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? Yes. Almost everything is condensed on to one page. Slam down a handful of d%s and you're almost all done. Flip to the next few pages for attributes and powers.
Variety and Reusability? Tons. Having different types of demons who all draw from the same attributes chart in varying proportions is a great idea. If the PCs got familiar with the four different types they could develop at least a vague idea of what they're up against while still leaving plenty of room to be surprised.

PS: some of the powers are fucking nasty. PCs use caution!

*****

No Salvation for Witches
The Tract of Teratology

by Rafael Chandler
from LotFP
Is the print version sold out? get the pdf

NSFW is a bad-ass adventure set in 1620s England. I won't do a review/treatment of the adventure itself, but it is a creative and well-written horror escapade. If you're familiar with vintage LotFP adventures or Chandler's particular style, you have an inkling of what's going on here. I have it in pdf and wish I had pulled the trigger on a print copy when I had the chance.

Anyway, the last few pages of the adventure detail a book called the Tract of Teratology containing a ritual for summoning an otherworldly entity. The idea is there are countless Tracts in the world, each with completely different contents. Whether you use that idea, or just crib the monster generation tables is up to you. Let's see how it works.

Summoning Rules: Two tables that fit on a single page, some preamble. Roll for your ritual type (various grim & bloody sacrificial rites) and special components required (pieces of the victim, herbs, gems, whatever).

Every roll on the Tract's tables follows the same format: percentile dice + character level & INT modifier of every participant in the ritual. Simple and straightforward, easy to remember, while stats & planning can still influence the outcome. Great mechanic!


SAMPLE MONSTER - "Fruitopede"

Let's say my wizard is 5th level now, with three new apprentices whose stupidity cancels out my INT bonus, leaving us with a net modifier of +8%. Even this is an oversimplification, as the performance of the ritual (well-done or poorly) can modify your monster results too. We'll have to assume there were no screwups for the sake of argument:

Ritual - poisoning
Components - 200sp bar of silver, the victim's kidneys

HP: 6d8
Damage: 1d4+2
AC: 16
Move: 120'
Attacks: 4
Morale: 12
Summon duration: 1 day, then entity liquefies and seeps into the ground

Attributes - Segmented worm long as a man covered in violet scales, segmented tail w/barbed stinger (+2 damage), smells of orange rind, neutral attitude to caster
Abilities (3) - Random 4th-level MU spell, random 5th-level MU spell, random 7th-level MU spell
Compulsion - follow a stranger home and murder everyone who lives there, except the one who was followed. It must commit the act and the caster must help or lose a point of DEX every day for 1d6 days.

Ugh, well Chandler rarely pulls his punches. What these tables lack in variety, they make up for in nastiness. The 'body' and 'appendages' tables are the meat & potatoes here. Most entries are distinctive and flavourful but with only the two tables the possibilities for weird & unexpected combinations are kept to a minimum.

How Many Rolls? Exactly 19. Plus random MU spells if you get that result (and you will).
Would I use this in the middle of a session? For sure! The charts are straightforward and all use a d%, there is no cross-referencing. It's very easy to use, except for rolling up random MU spells I'd have to develop a method in advance.
Variety and Reusability? Low-Middling. 'Body' and 'appendages' each have about 50 entries, so repeats can happen but the same combination will be rare. The special abilities are sorely lacking though. Random MU spells, immunity to [x], or a flat mechanical bonus? My balls.

I wonder if we shouldn't expect too much from these tables, appearing in the back of an unrelated adventure as they do. But the Guests pack way more variety and juice into less space, so all excuses must fall on deaf ears! Not sure I'd use this to actually generate a monster for the PCs to fight, but it does well at its intended function.


Conclusion

The LotFP "house round" has been a tough one. Summon has classic Raggi juice but isn't very user-friendly. The Tract is clearly and cleanly laid out, but gives fairly basic results. I have to hand it to Zak - the Guests are imaginative, descriptive and flavourful. If you're generating your monsters in advance like with any other random monster generator, I'd give this round to him.

But at the last minute I saw how this hack, modification and automation of the Summon spell changes the game. For demon-summoning in the middle of a session it does exactly what you need. I have to give the title to the 3-man squad of Raggi, Saker and Angus for this OSR-style team-up! Now go click the button and generate your own monsters!!!!

*****

Now I'm pretty hungover today, so time to watch TV or something dumb for a while. I'll leave you with this (actually, 'necrotic proboscis' would be a good grindcore band name too):

Random Monster Generator Shootout!!

I can never get enough monsters. I will do whatever I can to get my greasy hands on any beasts that will throw my players for a loop - if the book is reusable, so much the better! So let's talk about some random monster generators that I have found recently and see how they work.


*****

1st edition AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide
Appendix D: Random Generation of Creatures from the Lower Planes 

by Gary Gygax

The all-time legend, defending champion, can Gary keep his throne with all these nu-old-school upstarts coming after the crown? Let's find out!

I discovered Appendix D in my copy of DMG just recently. I only found a hard copy a few months ago, I've had such a great time absorbing Gary's teachings directly. Stumbling on this section inspired the post you're now reading.

Appendix D consists of a mere two pages (not even. 3 and a half columns) of tables and guidelines for random demons, devils and the like. It starts out like a Monster Manual entry with random rolls built in line by line. Example:

"SIZE: S, M, or L (d8, 1 = S, 2-4 = M, 5-8 = L)"

After a while, this shit can get DENSE. Gary doesn't slow down to explain things. After determining stats, tables follow for appearance, body shape, skin colour, appendages, etc. Some of these tables interact weirdly - like rolling "thin" and "broad" under General Characteristics. Of course Gary also references a certain Dragon magazine article if you want more ideas. Thanks pal, I'll just run out and pick that up...

The section on special attacks and defenses is minimal and requires some work on the DM's part. The two tables are more of a jumping-off point. Actually, that's a good description of the whole appendix. It will give you a sketch of the monster, but you'll have to fill in the blanks to make it coherent. Gary gives us a sea of tables to wade through and STILL we have to decide attacks, damage, and special abilities on our own.

How many rolls? Around 30 give or take.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? No way
Variety and reusability? It's designed for a specific type of creature, so variety is limited but it's endlessly reusable. Running through this a handful of times could give you a whole new infernal order to go alongside demons/devils/daemons.

SAMPLE MONSTER - "The Bubblegum Owlbear"

Frequency: Rare
No. Appearing: 1
Armour Class: -3
Move: 9"
Hit Dice: 8
% In Lair: 10%
Treasure Type: NONE, haha fuck you!
No. of Attacks: 4
Damage/Attack: 1-8 / by weapon x 3
Special Attacks: 18/00 strength, summoning
Special Defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit, immune to cold, acid
Magic Resistance: -10%
Intelligence: Average
Alignment: CE
Size: M

I rolled: owl head w/ crest or peak, twitching moving visage, tiny human ears, small slitted black eyes, large toothed mouth, bearlike body, thin and narrow, prehensile tail, odour of vomit, pink furred body, spined back, tentacles, one human-nailed hand, one withered & bony hand, insectile feet.

Sheesh. It's a mixed-up demonic TENTACLED PINK OWLBEAR! How much more Gygaxian can you get? This is perfect for an AD&D demon. I'm using these guys in my game - in E6 this could be a unique demon prince! On the downside, imagine the difficulty of describing this mess to the players? I wish I could draw.

Its tentacle-hands and prehensile tail (which I reckon should all look the same) will all carry weapons of various types. With its exceptional strength, it could do an absurd amount of damage in one round. The special ability is summoning, so bubblegum owlbears have a 50% chance to open a Gate which calls either one of their kind (30%) or 1-4 minor demons.


*****


The Random Esoteric Creature Generator for Classic Fantasy Role-Playing Games and their Modern Simulacra, Tenth Anniversary Edition

by James Edward Raggi IV
from Lamentations of the Flame Princess
lotfp.com
Buy the PDF here - $9.99, the print edition looks sold out


OKAY, we'll keep tonight's party going with a club banger... the thousand-pound gorilla... the standard by which all others are judged. You know it, you love it: the RECGFCFRPG&TMS!

My copy says 'Third Printing' on it, and no wonder. This thing fucking rules, and it's almost unfair to everyone else having this ringer in the competition.

First of all: the art is fantastic. At the back of the book is a collection of the simple black & white images from the earlier printings, and you can compare page-by-page how they were reinvented in lurid full colour throughout the book. The illustrations give the sense that the artists took a real joy in their work. I imagined a dude at a drafting table rubbing his hands together, cackling to himself as he renders another hapless adventurer's disembowelment.

The tables? Oh yeah, they're really good. Hyper-detailed, Raggi leaves very little up to the DM here, in a good way. The entries are really detailed, and when you have rolled your way through you should have everything from shape, size, special attacks to even battle tactics and motivation. Sometimes the combinations are maddeningly bizarre, which might require some work to reconcile. The motivation throughout is to give your game table something it's never seen before.

At the end, Raggi rounds it off with a few pages of advice on 'Putting It All Together.' You may not agree with every single thing he says here, but I found it informative and useful.


How many rolls? Minimum 6, could be around double that if you use every optional table.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? I think I could do it while the PCs were on a smoke break if I got lucky.
Variety and reusability? Fucking TONS of both. The tables are weighted so the really exotic things (body shape: dodecahedron) won't come up too often, but there are so many entries in the 'distinctive features' and 'special abilities' tables that you'll never run out of weird combinations.


SAMPLE MONSTER - "The Lobble"

Armour Class: 17
Move: normal human + 10' (depends on the system you're playing I guess)
Hit Dice: 4
Attacks: 1d10+1 x 4
Alignment: C
Size: Huge
Morale: 10

I rolled: base HD 2; bipedal; combination of insect (beetle) and crustacean (lobster); huge size; illusionary features (oozing sores); 

So the 'combination' result can really get dangerous. An insect needs six limbs, but a biped stands on two legs so the other four must be arms. Add in a crustacean with claws on the end of every arm and you have four claw attacks. With its huge size, it's going to chop through adventurers in no time. I can imagine to employ its wall-crawling ability, all six limbs cut right into the rock of the dungeon as it scuttles up and down.

Tougher to imagine is the 'illusionary features' ability. This huge beast has oozing slime and pus all over it which is... just an illusion. How? Why? Is it some sort of defense against giant lobble-eating predators? Is it a magical effect or curse of some kind? Will the players ever find out? I have no idea, let's see what happens.


*****


The Level 1 Creature Generator

by Michael Raston
from Gorgzu Games
lizardmandiaries.blogspot.com
Buy the PDF here - $1


I was just browsing around on RPGnow and came across this. From the same guy who wrote Towers of the Weretoads, a short adventure I saw reviewed at Ten Foot Pole.

This tiny little pdf (only nine pages!) would be a bargain at twice the price. The monster generation is simple. Roll on the Basic Shape table, the Form table, and the Special Ability table. That's it!

These elements combine to create a weird variation on a familiar creature. Basic Shape describes the creature's overall body type, like "man," "octopus" or "elephant." Form changes the substance of the creature, like gold-plated skin or a gaseous body. These entries along with the special abilities are cool and very specific. Because the basic shapes are all things we already know, you won't get a bizarre monstrosity like the RECG. It will be a variation and twist on something you already know.

Being made of simple building blocks means this booklet is easy to mess with or add to as you like. You can pick entries if you want. Need a strange mutant fish? Just roll on the other two tables and there you go. Maybe you want a monster that charms its victims, but y'don't know what it should look like? Where it sacrifices depth and complexity, it makes up for it with lightning speed and ease of use.


How many rolls? Exactly three.
Would I use this in the middle of a session? I'd use this baby in the middle of a sentence.
Variety and reusability? Both middling. I can envision myself adding new entries in the future to replace abilities or forms I've rolled more than once. There are theoretically 64,000 combinations but you don't actually want to run 40 different monsters with the same special ability, do you?


SAMPLE MONSTER - "The Silt Sneak"

I rolled: Basic Shape: Goblin. Form: Crumbling, craggy, sandy and granular mass, can decompose into pile of grains then reconstitute. Special Ability: Will attempt to steal one target in PC party and spirit them away to some burrow or lair and torture them.

A sand-goblin that loves to steal and torture adventurers? That's bloody cool. Silt sneaks lie around in sand-pile form waiting for passersby, then they reform and attack from behind to pick off a straggler for their wicked sports! Why do they transform like this, is it a curse or a spell ability? Are they goblins who can turn into sand, or sand that's been animated in the shape of goblins?

This gets my mind working on a desert cave dungeon where they can blend into the sand underfoot. Some ankhegs, giant ants and a mummy or two to round things off. I'm into it!!


*****

In conclusion

These three generators are all great for different things. Having ultra-quick-rolling tables is handy as hell for my bad habit of last-minute prep. The denser generators are so detailed and thick with content that I find it hard to imagine exhausting them.

I would use each one of these generators. I find it hard to pick a favourite but I did call this a 'shootout'...

If I could only use one it would have to be the RECG. It sits in a middle ground between the lightning-fast generation of the L1CG and the baroque density of Appendix D. The tables are long and detailed enough that it'll be hard to exhaust them while simple enough in execution that I can roll up another monstrosity relatively quickly. The excellent production values in comparison to a lot of RPG books give it that last push over the top.


*****

Whew! After digging through my books/PDFs looking for more monster generators, I already have more than enough to do another round like this.

Until then, go roll up some brand new
SLAVES
TO
DARKNESSSSSS